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DanXIII

1,293 stories

Movie Reviews: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is Perfect for Horror Hounds with a Taste for the Bizarre!

Tomatoes begin going absolutely batshit insane and devouring people after genetic crop experimentation goes sideways (timely today as in 1978) …what is the nation to do? Well, for starters they wrangle a task force led by the erstwhile Mason Dixon and including master of disguise Sam Smith, champion swimmer Gretta Attenbaum, scuba diver Greg Colburn, and soldier Wilbur Finletter who is eternally connected to his parachute. As much as the team (ineptly) tries, the tomatoes eventually win the day, calling for military action which too ultimately falls short. Is there anything on Earth that can stop this preternaturally powerful produce? Yes, yes there is and it’s suitably ridiculous and won’t be spoiled here! Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is the perfect mixture of mile a minute sight gags (think in the tradition of the Airplane films…yet before they were created) and ’50’s sci-fi flicks where every conceivable animal or insect would mutate, grow to titanic proportions and menace mankind. It

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DanXIII

Feb 8, 2018

Movies

Movie Review: Victor Crowley is the Best of the Hatchet Series!

Victor Crowley, the deformed and bullied child that grew up to be a monstrous, murder lovin’ madman (and ghost to boot), is back stalking and slaying in his bayou home ten years after the events of Adam Green’s cult slasher favorite Hatchet (2006). Now ol’ V.C. isn’t the only familiar face back on the scene as paramedic, and lone survivor of previous bloodbaths, Andrew has returned to tell his side of events (and promote his new book about the gruesome goings-on) on his ex-wife’s talk show. Before long, Andrew is offered an ass load of money to return to the swamp and record an interview for a national television show…so our hero, a camera crew, and that aforementioned ex-wife traipse right into the lion’s den (after a plane crash that is) because unbeknownst to them, a trio of aspiring film makers (hoping to shoot a fake trailer to raise the scratch to make a film about Crowley) have inadvertently resurrected

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DanXIII

Feb 7, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Curse of the Witch’s Doll is an Old School Atmospheric Horror Show!

The longer time I spend in the horror biz, the more I see some truly ground breaking, heartfelt, monster masterpieces. Let’s see if Curse of The Witch’s Doll (or as it’s sometimes known The Witch’s Doll…or, and this one happens to be my favorite due to it’s sublime creativity, Conjuring the Witch’s Doll) is one of those… Curse of The Witch’s Doll in war torn 1940’s Europe, a Adeline and daughter seek shelter in a house deep in the woods. Everything would be fine and dandy for the duo except a seemingly living doll inhabits the dwelling as well, and after Adeline’s daughter goes missing after a rousing game of hide n’ seek, it’s up to our heroine to break a centuries old witch’s curse, find her daughter, and put that evil six feet under! Comprised of a more subtle and dramatic story line than you would expect, Curse of The Witch’s Doll is a bit of a pleasant surprise.

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DanXIII

Feb 6, 2018

Streaming TV

TV Series Review: War of the Worlds: The Complete Series is a Fun Series Filled With Gore and Action!

Picking up thirty years after George Pal’s 1953 adaptation of H.G. Well’s classic novel War of the Worlds, the television incarnation tells the story of the resurrection of the alien invaders from Mars (retconned to Mor-Tax in this version) from their state of suspended animation (rumors of their death had apparently been highly exaggerated). Once back in action the aliens begin a plot to make Earth more like their home world…and fast as a veritable shit load of their friends are scheduled to arrive on our lil’ blue marble within five years time. Unfortunately for us, the aliens can now inhabit human bodies in order to travel among us undetected. To fight this unearthly menace, the government assembles a highly trained task force led by Dr. Harrison Blackwood (played by Jared Martin, whom fright flick fans may recognize from the Fulci death sport film The New Gladiators), an astrophysicist who’s parents were killed in the original 1953 invasion. Also along

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DanXIII

Feb 6, 2018

MoviesParanormal

Movie Review: The Tag-Along 2 is a Spook Show with Gravitas!

The Tag-Along 2 begins with a highly effective cold open featuring a man menaced by a little girl who’s face seems to be constructed of an unholy combination of nightmare and pure terror (and the worst parts of both at that) in the deep dark woods! Following that we meet social worker Shu-fen (Rainie Yang), a woman dealing with both inexplicable cases (like the woman who keeps her rune covered daughter locked in a room filled with talismans to ward of the demons she is sure is coming for her offspring) and her knocked-up teenage daughter. After Shu-fen tries unsuccessfully to convince her daughter to get an abortion, the teen turns up missing…with surveillance cameras revealing she was led away by a mysterious child dressed in red. Soon the trail leads to a reportedly haunted forest (is it a spoiler to just say the damn thing actually is…I mean, look at the art for this fright flick…) which also happens

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DanXIII

Feb 5, 2018

MoviesStreaming TV

Movie Review: Threads is the Most Disturbing Film I Have Ever Seen…

I’m gonna kick this review of Threads off by telling you up front that this film isn’t a fright flick per se; but it is definitely one of the most horrifying films you will ever lay your putrid peepers on…and I just know that when you hear “made for TV in the 1980’s” you’ll immediately roll your eyes and say “How hardcore could this film be?”. Just trust me, you are in for a mega bumpy time in front of the ol’ tube tonight… The long and short of Threads goes as follows: the residents of working-class Sheffield, England have a major crisis on their hands, namely someone went right ahead and dropped a nuke in their backyard. What follows is a gritty representation of what would happen if such an event took place including such fun lovin’ hits as; radiation sickness, the complete unraveling of civilization as the years pass, nuclear winter, puke, spontaneous urination, burning corpses…and so very

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DanXIII

Feb 4, 2018

Movies

Movie Review: The Gruesome Twosome is an Essential Addition to any Gore Hound’s Library!

In Herschell Gordon Lewis’ (The Godfather of Gore) The Gruesome Twosome we are introduced to an elderly woman and her mentally handicapped son; a duo with a strange hobby, namely scalping comely young lasses and selling their hair as wigs to meet customer demand (well, we learn of this after an introduction featuring two talking Styrofoam heads…because yes…). Anyway, before long a snoopy co-ed named Kathy begins weaving clues together and discovers the hair-raising truth, but can the demented duo be stopped before they kill again? Filled with off-kilter performances, a tongue in cheek story line, and crude yet effective (and groundbreaking) gore effects, The Gruesome Twosome is a ton of goofy, gory, fright flick fun! It also runs a lean hour and eleven minutes so it rock n’ rolls along at a good clip (even with padding such as the slumber party dancing and KFC chomping mash up, and Kathy’s ultra-shitty detective work…oh and the potato chip and fruit

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DanXIII

Feb 4, 2018

Movies

Movie Review: Diverge is an Unforgettable Cinematic Experience!

In a post-apocalyptic, plague-ravaged wasteland, a man named Chris tends to the needs of his dying wife Anna…that set-up right there tells you that Diverge is gonna have a wee bit more gravitas than the flicks I usually review ’round these parts; you know the ones that usually start with ‘Holy hell there was nudity and ten deaths before the opening credits’! Moving on… As if Chris’ miserable existence wasn’t horrible enough, he soon finds himself the victim of a rather severe leg wound which causes him to lose consciousness. Well, things do keep coming up Chris as our hero finds himself naked and in the pre-apocalyptic past where he gets to see his wife healthy and himself not looking like ten pounds of shit in a two pound sack…but he can’t exactly stroll up and say ‘Hey, how’s it hanging?” We soon discover that Chris was kidnapped by an enigmatic stranger and offered the option to go back in

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DanXIII

Feb 4, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Inoperable is a Reality Bending Fright flick Worth Your Time!

See that image of beloved scream queen Danielle Harris haulin’ ass down a hallway? Well, I hope you dig on the runnin’ cause ol’ D-gurl does plenty of that in Inoperable…but first, a lil’ set up… Inoperable finds our heroine Amy (Harris) warping back in forth in time from her s-hot Stingray to the interior of a massively understaffed hospital. As she drives and/or wanders the hallways of healin’ we learn there is a massive hurricane on the way as well…I mean, a girl can’t even catch a break; if it isn’t getting caught in a time loop it’s being threatened by ol’ Mother Nature herself…talk about a Tuesday, amirite? Anyway, Amy constantly flashes back and forth from the safety of the ‘ray to the hell of the hospital and it’s demented staff. How will Amy right herself in reality and escape her sinister surroundings? Only time will tell (hahaha…I regret nothing)! Kickin’ things off with a ray of sunshine

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DanXIII

Feb 3, 2018

ForeignMovies

Movie Review: Red Krokodil: Director’s Cut is a Nightmarish Decent into Self Inflicted Hell!

Red Krokodil tells the tale of a man hopelessly addicted to a drug that causes him to fall into physical decay in a tiny apartment located within a post-apocalyptic city. His mental state begins to fall to hell in a hand basket as well as he begins to have strange hallucinations of a rabbit headed interloper…then the nightmares become worse, and so does reality! What’s good about Red Krokodil? Well for starters, the effects utilized to show our protagonist’s rotting away are really well done. There’s plenty of weeping sores, gaping holes, and bodily fluids to keep the gore hounds well fed. The fantasy elements presented featuring rabbit masks, strange openings within the apartment, peering disembodied eyes et. al. were really well done as well, and made the piece more of a fever dream than just the drug induced nightmare it could have been…in other words, this ain’t just a body horror flick creeps (and the allegories to war both

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DanXIII

Feb 2, 2018

DanXIII

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