Buenos Aries is absolutely up to it’s ass in flesh-eating ghouls. Such is the premise of 2024’s Portraits of the Apocalypse, a multi-tale fright flick that examines the apocalyptic event from a multitude of perspectives. Directors Nicanor Loreti, Fabián Forte, and Luca Castello each take turns telling stories of a world gone mad, and things […]
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Back ‘round 1973, filmmaker Robin Hardy unleashed the ultimate folk horror banger, The Wicker Man. If you’re not familiar (and you absolutely should be), The Wicker Man concerns a police Sergeant who travels to a remote Scottish island to investigate the case of a missing child. Once there he discovers the strange pagan rituals of […]
Continue reading →
A figure in black chases a terrified man to a rooftop where he fires a gun at him point blank… resulting in a rubber tipped dart sticking to the victims forehead accompanied by cartoon sound effects… Hard cut to a fantastic opening credits sequence equal parts James Bond title sequence and an ’80s TV cop […]
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With their latest rocket experiment ending in flames n’ failure, Dr. Charles Cargraves (Warner Anderson) and his rocket lovin’ bud, General Thayer (Tom Powers) seek some outside cash to achieve their ultimate goal, sending man to the moon! They soon enlist smooth-talkin’ aeronautics tycoon Jim Barnes (John Archer) to convince his equally loaded peers to invest in the project… and he isn’t afraid to enlist a then-popular animated bird to lend a helping wing (more on this below dear readers!) to that end! Before long the project is complete, but the local populace are having a bitch-fest about the radiation they believe the project will surely release… even though the rocket, the Luna, uses steam propulsion… so our heroes decide to launch the rocket early, because fuck the public, that’s why! With Cargraves, Thayer, et. al. (along with wise-assing substitute radio operator Joe Sweeney (Dick Wesson)) acting as crew, the group soon find themselves in space… but after a hard
Continue reading →
Bobby Sweet (Ricky Glore, who also wrote and directed the picture) spends his days slinging burgers and unclogging toilets at the local fast food eatery, but he has high hopes on becoming a musician and enjoying all of the prestige that comes with it. Bobby’s boss Nick (Andrew Gordon) has other ideas for our hero’s future… namely taking over the operations of the business because he can’t leave it to his disappointing offspring. Bobby wants to warble out his tunes, but he agrees and after Nick buys the farm Bobby finds himself in the middle of a scheme by Nick’s daughter Laddie (Eileen Earnest) to increase business by introducing a new ingredient to the restaurant’s offerings. It doesn’t take a genius to suss out what that ingredient truly is, and before you can say “Motel Hell”, that man-centric mystery meat really takes the fast food biz by sinister storm… and Bobby can spend his time working on his craft as
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Dig this one; the Blood Countess herself Elizabeth Bathory (Jessa Jupiter Flux, Murdercise, Onlyfangs ) has survived the centuries and settled down in suburbia! Meanwhile, Jenny (Angel Nicole Bradford, Backwoods Blood Feud, The House That Eats Flesh) is having a shitty go of things as of late… she’s trapped in an abusive relationship and she’s completely broke. The solution to at least one of those probs comes in the form of a job offer from Bathory her damn self, and the gig really sucks too, as it involves looking after Liz’s insane sister… who lives in a bathtub, eats raw meat, and snarls all of the damn time. The job lasts roughly one second before Bathory works up an arcane boobs n’ blood style bedroom bedazzlement and marks our heroine with a sigil that gives her a taste for human flesh and additionally, at no extra fee, marks her as the vessel for the offspring of the demon king, Asmodeus!
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After being expelled from Tromaville High School, our highly tatted, skimpily dressed heroines D.d. (Elizabeth D’Ambrosio) and Mercy (Mercedes The Muse, who also wrote and directed the picture… as she did on Troma’s Divide & Conquer as well as many more) try their level-headed best to secure jobs in the real world… but after a series of disastrous work place experiences (at least one of which features that ol’ family fav; un-simulated on-screen pissing) our protagonists discover that a virus is turning horny men’s dicks into monsters (also dicks)… dicks with faces that expel green jizz. As anyone would, they arm themselves with dildo-based weaponry and queef balloons and take to the streets to do battle with those phreaky phalluses as The Super Tromettes! Before long they discover that the virus is man-made and after recruiting new members into their ranks… including the ADHD-riddled roller-skatin’ Hypergirl (split-tongued dynamo Knotty Peach, also from Divide & Conquer) and disabled tech-genius Tekno (Jade
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After some intro bullshitting around from Uncle Lloyd himself, the story of Sugar Cookies begins in earnest… High falutin’ porno producer Max Pavell (George Shannon) accidentally kills his starlet, Alta Leigh (Lynn Lowry, Shivers, Cat People) after a lil’ sexy-time gun-play. Well, that just won’t do… so our prize-winning dick of a leading man immediately goes into damage control claiming the whole debacle was a suicide… and he even gets his casting director, Camila Stone (Mary Woronov, Death Race 2000, Rock n’ Roll high School) to cover for his whereabouts on the night of the incident. Speaking of Camila, she is also tasked with finding a new leading lady for Max’s porn ventures and soon she begins introducing eager starlet Julie Kent (Lowry pullin’ double duty) to the lavish lifestyle… the only hitch is, Camila begins to fall in love with Julie… Will that be enough to keep Julie out of Max’s dangerous sex games? Sugar Cookies is as scattershot
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Italian filmmakers well and truly got balls deep into any and all American genre cinema trends in the ‘70s and ‘80s in order to make some dough. That eloquent statement brings us to the subject of Discoploitation… yup, that’s right, or pals in Italy saw Saturday Night Fever and said “Fuck yeah, we can do that!” And they did… in a way… and now I’m going to take a gander at the results courtesy of Severin’s new Blu-ray boxset; Disco Italiana! Things kick off with American Fever (1978)… Our hero Tony (Mircha Carven, SS Experiment Love Camp) works as a mechanic by day and tears it up in his white suit on the disco floor at night… he’s also an aspiring actor. All isn’t carburetors and the Hustle however, and Tony finds himself getting involved with Lisa (Zora Kerova, Antropophagus, Cannibal Ferox)… yet another aspiring thespian that he talks down from a suicide attempt. While contending with that, Tony has
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British Faux-documentary filmmaker Carl Medland rocked my socks with his trio of funny n’ freaky supernatural investigations into a farm with some bad fuckin’ mojo in the appropriately named Paranormal Farm series (reviews of which can be read here, here, and here). Well, our haunt-seeking host is back with another journey into the bizarre with his latest offering, Paranormal Hollywood Haunting… Arriving in America, Carl sets out to explore the Hollywood mansion of film veteran Arthur Porter and author/health advocate Daniel P’Lopez; an abode nestled right smack in the legendary Hollywood hills. As Carl and his cameraman Mumtaz “Taz” Yildirimlar, begin their investigation, the expected ghostly goings-on begin, but there is a deeper, more personal side to the yarn at hand that soon rises to the surface… That’s the beautiful thing about Paranormal Hollywood Haunting; while treating us to another outré investigation we get a glimpse of a truly human experience. As the film carries on it’s exaggerated fictional preternatural
Continue reading →
Buenos Aries is absolutely up to it’s ass in flesh-eating ghouls. Such is the premise of 2024’s Portraits of the Apocalypse, a multi-tale fright flick that examines the apocalyptic event from a multitude of perspectives. Directors Nicanor Loreti, Fabián Forte, and Luca Castello each take turns telling stories of a world gone mad, and things […]
Continue reading →
Back ‘round 1973, filmmaker Robin Hardy unleashed the ultimate folk horror banger, The Wicker Man. If you’re not familiar (and you absolutely should be), The Wicker Man concerns a police Sergeant who travels to a remote Scottish island to investigate the case of a missing child. Once there he discovers the strange pagan rituals of […]
Continue reading →
A figure in black chases a terrified man to a rooftop where he fires a gun at him point blank… resulting in a rubber tipped dart sticking to the victims forehead accompanied by cartoon sound effects… Hard cut to a fantastic opening credits sequence equal parts James Bond title sequence and an ’80s TV cop […]
Continue reading →
With their latest rocket experiment ending in flames n’ failure, Dr. Charles Cargraves (Warner Anderson) and his rocket lovin’ bud, General Thayer (Tom Powers) seek some outside cash to achieve their ultimate goal, sending man to the moon! They soon enlist smooth-talkin’ aeronautics tycoon Jim Barnes (John Archer) to convince his equally loaded peers to invest in the project… and he isn’t afraid to enlist a then-popular animated bird to lend a helping wing (more on this below dear readers!) to that end! Before long the project is complete, but the local populace are having a bitch-fest about the radiation they believe the project will surely release… even though the rocket, the Luna, uses steam propulsion… so our heroes decide to launch the rocket early, because fuck the public, that’s why! With Cargraves, Thayer, et. al. (along with wise-assing substitute radio operator Joe Sweeney (Dick Wesson)) acting as crew, the group soon find themselves in space… but after a hard
Continue reading →
Bobby Sweet (Ricky Glore, who also wrote and directed the picture) spends his days slinging burgers and unclogging toilets at the local fast food eatery, but he has high hopes on becoming a musician and enjoying all of the prestige that comes with it. Bobby’s boss Nick (Andrew Gordon) has other ideas for our hero’s future… namely taking over the operations of the business because he can’t leave it to his disappointing offspring. Bobby wants to warble out his tunes, but he agrees and after Nick buys the farm Bobby finds himself in the middle of a scheme by Nick’s daughter Laddie (Eileen Earnest) to increase business by introducing a new ingredient to the restaurant’s offerings. It doesn’t take a genius to suss out what that ingredient truly is, and before you can say “Motel Hell”, that man-centric mystery meat really takes the fast food biz by sinister storm… and Bobby can spend his time working on his craft as
Continue reading →
Dig this one; the Blood Countess herself Elizabeth Bathory (Jessa Jupiter Flux, Murdercise, Onlyfangs ) has survived the centuries and settled down in suburbia! Meanwhile, Jenny (Angel Nicole Bradford, Backwoods Blood Feud, The House That Eats Flesh) is having a shitty go of things as of late… she’s trapped in an abusive relationship and she’s completely broke. The solution to at least one of those probs comes in the form of a job offer from Bathory her damn self, and the gig really sucks too, as it involves looking after Liz’s insane sister… who lives in a bathtub, eats raw meat, and snarls all of the damn time. The job lasts roughly one second before Bathory works up an arcane boobs n’ blood style bedroom bedazzlement and marks our heroine with a sigil that gives her a taste for human flesh and additionally, at no extra fee, marks her as the vessel for the offspring of the demon king, Asmodeus!
Continue reading →
After being expelled from Tromaville High School, our highly tatted, skimpily dressed heroines D.d. (Elizabeth D’Ambrosio) and Mercy (Mercedes The Muse, who also wrote and directed the picture… as she did on Troma’s Divide & Conquer as well as many more) try their level-headed best to secure jobs in the real world… but after a series of disastrous work place experiences (at least one of which features that ol’ family fav; un-simulated on-screen pissing) our protagonists discover that a virus is turning horny men’s dicks into monsters (also dicks)… dicks with faces that expel green jizz. As anyone would, they arm themselves with dildo-based weaponry and queef balloons and take to the streets to do battle with those phreaky phalluses as The Super Tromettes! Before long they discover that the virus is man-made and after recruiting new members into their ranks… including the ADHD-riddled roller-skatin’ Hypergirl (split-tongued dynamo Knotty Peach, also from Divide & Conquer) and disabled tech-genius Tekno (Jade
Continue reading →
After some intro bullshitting around from Uncle Lloyd himself, the story of Sugar Cookies begins in earnest… High falutin’ porno producer Max Pavell (George Shannon) accidentally kills his starlet, Alta Leigh (Lynn Lowry, Shivers, Cat People) after a lil’ sexy-time gun-play. Well, that just won’t do… so our prize-winning dick of a leading man immediately goes into damage control claiming the whole debacle was a suicide… and he even gets his casting director, Camila Stone (Mary Woronov, Death Race 2000, Rock n’ Roll high School) to cover for his whereabouts on the night of the incident. Speaking of Camila, she is also tasked with finding a new leading lady for Max’s porn ventures and soon she begins introducing eager starlet Julie Kent (Lowry pullin’ double duty) to the lavish lifestyle… the only hitch is, Camila begins to fall in love with Julie… Will that be enough to keep Julie out of Max’s dangerous sex games? Sugar Cookies is as scattershot
Continue reading →
Italian filmmakers well and truly got balls deep into any and all American genre cinema trends in the ‘70s and ‘80s in order to make some dough. That eloquent statement brings us to the subject of Discoploitation… yup, that’s right, or pals in Italy saw Saturday Night Fever and said “Fuck yeah, we can do that!” And they did… in a way… and now I’m going to take a gander at the results courtesy of Severin’s new Blu-ray boxset; Disco Italiana! Things kick off with American Fever (1978)… Our hero Tony (Mircha Carven, SS Experiment Love Camp) works as a mechanic by day and tears it up in his white suit on the disco floor at night… he’s also an aspiring actor. All isn’t carburetors and the Hustle however, and Tony finds himself getting involved with Lisa (Zora Kerova, Antropophagus, Cannibal Ferox)… yet another aspiring thespian that he talks down from a suicide attempt. While contending with that, Tony has
Continue reading →
British Faux-documentary filmmaker Carl Medland rocked my socks with his trio of funny n’ freaky supernatural investigations into a farm with some bad fuckin’ mojo in the appropriately named Paranormal Farm series (reviews of which can be read here, here, and here). Well, our haunt-seeking host is back with another journey into the bizarre with his latest offering, Paranormal Hollywood Haunting… Arriving in America, Carl sets out to explore the Hollywood mansion of film veteran Arthur Porter and author/health advocate Daniel P’Lopez; an abode nestled right smack in the legendary Hollywood hills. As Carl and his cameraman Mumtaz “Taz” Yildirimlar, begin their investigation, the expected ghostly goings-on begin, but there is a deeper, more personal side to the yarn at hand that soon rises to the surface… That’s the beautiful thing about Paranormal Hollywood Haunting; while treating us to another outré investigation we get a glimpse of a truly human experience. As the film carries on it’s exaggerated fictional preternatural
Continue reading →
