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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Imitation Girl is Thoughtful Sci-Fi at it’s Best!

A wad of black ooze rockets down from the stars and lands on some kids spank mag and assumes the form of Julianna Fox (Lauren Ashley Carter), the world’s leading porn star (I swear to you this is an arthouse sci-fi drama…just bear with me). This creature, Imitation, wanders through the desert before she is taken in by a family from whom she learns about humanity and actually being a human being. Meanwhile, in New York City, Julianna is growing weary of the adult biz (and her drug dealing side hustle), and she jumps at the chance to audition for a prestigious musical conservatory (seems she was a great pianist before she took up the skin flute) after a chance meeting with an old teacher. Eventually our alien protagonist becomes aware of who she copied, and sets off to the city to meet her other half face to face. While the description above sounds like it could easily dovetail into

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DanXIII
Mar 23, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: But Deliver Us From Evil is a Jumbled Mess of a Fright Flick

The biblical succubus Lilith returns in the modern age (and appears in Georgia) and begins murdering religious figures around town (and by murdering I mean seducing them and making them explode) which baffles the local police (though in truth constructing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich seems like it would be an insurmountable challenge to these geezers). Eventually our slinky antagonist makes her way to a local college campus and begins to stalk sad sack new student Jeremiah who’s lineage as a long lost offspring of a Pastor with the power to destroy the demon makes him a threat. Holy shit, But Deliver Us From Evil, you are one stinking piece of cinematic hot garbage! The whole affair seems like a series of random scenes stitched together with some sort of whisper of a plot thrown in…and about that plot; with it’s strong religious overtones was this film made for the church goin’ crowd? Well if so, there is a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 21, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Cold Hell is a Dark Thriller With a Unique Perspective!

Ozge (Violetta Schurawlow) has it tough all over; she’s a Turkish cab driver livin’ in Vienna which makes her about as popular as a fart in a submarine with the locals, and most of her family isn’t too keen on her either. As you may guess, this makes Ozge a bit anxious, so she heads to the local gym to kick dude’s asses up under their hats (as well as the occasional policeman or customer). As fate would have it, there’s a real sick ticket roaming the streets, torturing sex workers of the Muslim faith to death, and our heroine gets a glimpse of this madman (and vice-versa) as he makes like the wind and blows the scene after killing Ozge’s prostitute neighbor. After dealing with unsympathetic cops, Big O’s nightmare comes true as the killer returns and the two battle in an out of control taxi (a real jaw-dropper of a sequence I must say). This leads to a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 15, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Veronica is a Fun Supernatural Yarn

Veronica has got it rough all over; since her father died her mother has to work mega long hours leaving V-dawg in charge of her young siblings…when she isn’t attending classes at the local Catholic school that is. Speaking of that school, Veronica and two of her friends get the absolutely dip-shit idea to head down into the building’s basement during a solar eclipse to use a Ouija board to contact their dead loved ones. This goes about as well as one would expected and Veronica suffers some sort of physical episode. This leads to an outre presence making itself known at her home that threatens to destroy Veronica and her entire family. Will our young heroine be able to force those ghost back into whatever nether hell they emerged from, or will she lose herself to the darkness? Veronica is an interesting film for a number of reasons, and this may come a surprise given how familiar the story

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 13, 2018
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: The Robot Chicken Walking Dead Special is Frightfully Funny!

Robot Chicken, those pop culture skewering puppets turn their goofy gaze upon gut munching soap opera The Walking Dead in the appropriately titled The Robot Chicken Walking Dead Special: Look Who’s Walking. Over the course we learn the true story of The Walking Dead as visitors to a TWD themed museum in the future are set straight by someone who knows the tale best (though they may want to do a special edition to change said character for…reasons). Anyway, when I say true-story I mean a series of short skits of varying levels of offensiveness (speaking of which, all of the F-bombs hat would be censored on Adult Swim are front and center here) and stupidity (the good kind, not the unbearable, obnoxious variety)…where most of the major storylines (as of October 2017) and characters are lampooned to admittedly hilarious effect…and there’s also a musical number or two as one does. Along with the twenty two minutes of non-stop laughs

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DanXIII
Mar 12, 2018
Horror Fuel

Move Review: The ‘Burbs is a Perfect Dark Satire of Suburbia!

Poor Ray Peterson (Tom Hanks), all he wants is a nice relaxing staycation but that just isn’t to be as a reclusive family named the Klopeks have moved into the dilapidated abode next door. This of course arouses the suspicions of his neighbors; mooching busy body Art Weingartner (Rick Ducommun), paramilitary nut Mark Rumsfield (Bruce Dern), and teenage smart ass Ricky Butler (Corey Feldman), whom all become convinced the Klopeks are members of a Satanic murder cult. Much to the chagrin of Ray’s long suffering wife Carol (Carrie Fisher), the gang of goofs (with reluctant Ray in tow) actually begin to turn up evidence (nocturnal digging of what appears to be graves, skeletal remains) that the new neighbors may indeed be up to something sinister, and after a visit to their abode Ray becomes convinced as well. Before long all hell breaks loose as Ray and company go completely off the rails trying to prove their crackpot theories! Filled with

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 11, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Hell’s Kitty is a Disappointing Cameo Packed Horror Comedy

Struggling screen writer Nick has got a problem with pussy…namely his cat angel, a demonically possessed feline that attacks any woman that gets within ten feet of our hero. Desperate Nick tries any method possible (including sleeping with her on a bed strewn with rose petals, an exorcism, and a seance…same things really) to try and get his cat to stop maiming and mutilating the female of the species, but with little success…and to complicate matters the nasty hairball’s victims suffer a form of rotting disease. Will Nick ever be able to tame that wild beast and have a normal love life? Let’s start with the positives…I’m glad Hell’s Kitty was an hour and a half and not two hours. Also some of the make-up effects are descent, and the cameos (though forced) were entertaining enough and included the likes of legends such as Doug Jones (Hellboy, The Shape of Water), Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes), Kelli Maroney (Night

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 10, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Basket Case is the Greatest Grindhouse Creature Feature Ever Made!

Small-town boy Duane Bradley arrives in the sleazy and deranged hell on Earth more commonly known as ’80’s New York City with a strange basket in tow. What bring’s him to the Big Apple you may ask? Just your simple lust for revenge against the shady doctors that surgically removed his horrendously deformed twin brother Belial from his side years previous in a traumatic operation. You can just guess what’s in the damn basket, can’t ya? Before long, both doctors and the tenants of the run down apartment building the the brother’s call home alike begin to fall to the teeth and talons of Belial, who in turn becomes even more enraged by the romance that begins to bloom between Duane and the comely receptionist of one of the doctors they murder. The body count escalates as the relationship between the brothers begins to crumble… Basket Case is, in my opinion, the ultimate grindhouse creature feature; it’s sleazy (there’s that

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 9, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies is a Gut Muncher Worth Sinking Your Teeth Into!

In order to eliminate the evasive kudzu vine, a team of scientists develop an experimental chemical that has one teeny, tiny drawback…it turns the citizens of Charleston, Mississippi into flesh hungry zombies! Before long a group of young friends find themselves under siege by the hungry hoards at a music festival (more on that in a bit)…a conflict that soon spills over into the streets of the town itself! Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies has some good things going for it; for starters the characters are actually extremely likable (and in some cases completely ridiculous like the guitar totin’ Mayor who is an absolute riot, and Johnny McPhail as Ben who steals every scene he is in), and no matter how over the top the blood, gore, and narrative get (and it does get bonkers A.F.) the protagonists help ground us…it’s a delicate, hard to pull off balance, and this flick does it well. Another heaping helpin’ of accolades

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 8, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Flatwoods Monster: A Legacy of Fear is Creepy, Campfire Horror Story Cool!

Beginning as it does with an opening credits sequence that wouldn’t be out of place in any given ’50’s era alien invasion flick, The Flatwoods Monster: A Legacy of Fear spins a yarn jammed fat with flying saucers, putrid smelling monsters, and flesh melting fog…and the best part of it all is, this is believed by many to be a true story! The documentary begins by introducing us to the bucolic splendor of Braxton County West Virginia, and more supposedly the sleepy hamlet of Flatwoods…a town where you would likely find more tipped cows than space invaders (though West Virginia itself has been a hotbed of paranormal activity for ages, with the most prominent example being The Mothman), yet in 1952 the May family had an experience that blew that all to hell and back, as they witnessed a strange craft land and dispense an outre (perhaps mechanical) being that scared them shitless…as it would anyone. But the May family

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 7, 2018

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Imitation Girl is Thoughtful Sci-Fi at it’s Best!

A wad of black ooze rockets down from the stars and lands on some kids spank mag and assumes the form of Julianna Fox (Lauren Ashley Carter), the world’s leading porn star (I swear to you this is an arthouse sci-fi drama…just bear with me). This creature, Imitation, wanders through the desert before she is taken in by a family from whom she learns about humanity and actually being a human being. Meanwhile, in New York City, Julianna is growing weary of the adult biz (and her drug dealing side hustle), and she jumps at the chance to audition for a prestigious musical conservatory (seems she was a great pianist before she took up the skin flute) after a chance meeting with an old teacher. Eventually our alien protagonist becomes aware of who she copied, and sets off to the city to meet her other half face to face. While the description above sounds like it could easily dovetail into

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 23, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: But Deliver Us From Evil is a Jumbled Mess of a Fright Flick

The biblical succubus Lilith returns in the modern age (and appears in Georgia) and begins murdering religious figures around town (and by murdering I mean seducing them and making them explode) which baffles the local police (though in truth constructing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich seems like it would be an insurmountable challenge to these geezers). Eventually our slinky antagonist makes her way to a local college campus and begins to stalk sad sack new student Jeremiah who’s lineage as a long lost offspring of a Pastor with the power to destroy the demon makes him a threat. Holy shit, But Deliver Us From Evil, you are one stinking piece of cinematic hot garbage! The whole affair seems like a series of random scenes stitched together with some sort of whisper of a plot thrown in…and about that plot; with it’s strong religious overtones was this film made for the church goin’ crowd? Well if so, there is a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 21, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Cold Hell is a Dark Thriller With a Unique Perspective!

Ozge (Violetta Schurawlow) has it tough all over; she’s a Turkish cab driver livin’ in Vienna which makes her about as popular as a fart in a submarine with the locals, and most of her family isn’t too keen on her either. As you may guess, this makes Ozge a bit anxious, so she heads to the local gym to kick dude’s asses up under their hats (as well as the occasional policeman or customer). As fate would have it, there’s a real sick ticket roaming the streets, torturing sex workers of the Muslim faith to death, and our heroine gets a glimpse of this madman (and vice-versa) as he makes like the wind and blows the scene after killing Ozge’s prostitute neighbor. After dealing with unsympathetic cops, Big O’s nightmare comes true as the killer returns and the two battle in an out of control taxi (a real jaw-dropper of a sequence I must say). This leads to a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 15, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Veronica is a Fun Supernatural Yarn

Veronica has got it rough all over; since her father died her mother has to work mega long hours leaving V-dawg in charge of her young siblings…when she isn’t attending classes at the local Catholic school that is. Speaking of that school, Veronica and two of her friends get the absolutely dip-shit idea to head down into the building’s basement during a solar eclipse to use a Ouija board to contact their dead loved ones. This goes about as well as one would expected and Veronica suffers some sort of physical episode. This leads to an outre presence making itself known at her home that threatens to destroy Veronica and her entire family. Will our young heroine be able to force those ghost back into whatever nether hell they emerged from, or will she lose herself to the darkness? Veronica is an interesting film for a number of reasons, and this may come a surprise given how familiar the story

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 13, 2018
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: The Robot Chicken Walking Dead Special is Frightfully Funny!

Robot Chicken, those pop culture skewering puppets turn their goofy gaze upon gut munching soap opera The Walking Dead in the appropriately titled The Robot Chicken Walking Dead Special: Look Who’s Walking. Over the course we learn the true story of The Walking Dead as visitors to a TWD themed museum in the future are set straight by someone who knows the tale best (though they may want to do a special edition to change said character for…reasons). Anyway, when I say true-story I mean a series of short skits of varying levels of offensiveness (speaking of which, all of the F-bombs hat would be censored on Adult Swim are front and center here) and stupidity (the good kind, not the unbearable, obnoxious variety)…where most of the major storylines (as of October 2017) and characters are lampooned to admittedly hilarious effect…and there’s also a musical number or two as one does. Along with the twenty two minutes of non-stop laughs

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 12, 2018
Horror Fuel

Move Review: The ‘Burbs is a Perfect Dark Satire of Suburbia!

Poor Ray Peterson (Tom Hanks), all he wants is a nice relaxing staycation but that just isn’t to be as a reclusive family named the Klopeks have moved into the dilapidated abode next door. This of course arouses the suspicions of his neighbors; mooching busy body Art Weingartner (Rick Ducommun), paramilitary nut Mark Rumsfield (Bruce Dern), and teenage smart ass Ricky Butler (Corey Feldman), whom all become convinced the Klopeks are members of a Satanic murder cult. Much to the chagrin of Ray’s long suffering wife Carol (Carrie Fisher), the gang of goofs (with reluctant Ray in tow) actually begin to turn up evidence (nocturnal digging of what appears to be graves, skeletal remains) that the new neighbors may indeed be up to something sinister, and after a visit to their abode Ray becomes convinced as well. Before long all hell breaks loose as Ray and company go completely off the rails trying to prove their crackpot theories! Filled with

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 11, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Hell’s Kitty is a Disappointing Cameo Packed Horror Comedy

Struggling screen writer Nick has got a problem with pussy…namely his cat angel, a demonically possessed feline that attacks any woman that gets within ten feet of our hero. Desperate Nick tries any method possible (including sleeping with her on a bed strewn with rose petals, an exorcism, and a seance…same things really) to try and get his cat to stop maiming and mutilating the female of the species, but with little success…and to complicate matters the nasty hairball’s victims suffer a form of rotting disease. Will Nick ever be able to tame that wild beast and have a normal love life? Let’s start with the positives…I’m glad Hell’s Kitty was an hour and a half and not two hours. Also some of the make-up effects are descent, and the cameos (though forced) were entertaining enough and included the likes of legends such as Doug Jones (Hellboy, The Shape of Water), Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes), Kelli Maroney (Night

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 10, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Basket Case is the Greatest Grindhouse Creature Feature Ever Made!

Small-town boy Duane Bradley arrives in the sleazy and deranged hell on Earth more commonly known as ’80’s New York City with a strange basket in tow. What bring’s him to the Big Apple you may ask? Just your simple lust for revenge against the shady doctors that surgically removed his horrendously deformed twin brother Belial from his side years previous in a traumatic operation. You can just guess what’s in the damn basket, can’t ya? Before long, both doctors and the tenants of the run down apartment building the the brother’s call home alike begin to fall to the teeth and talons of Belial, who in turn becomes even more enraged by the romance that begins to bloom between Duane and the comely receptionist of one of the doctors they murder. The body count escalates as the relationship between the brothers begins to crumble… Basket Case is, in my opinion, the ultimate grindhouse creature feature; it’s sleazy (there’s that

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 9, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies is a Gut Muncher Worth Sinking Your Teeth Into!

In order to eliminate the evasive kudzu vine, a team of scientists develop an experimental chemical that has one teeny, tiny drawback…it turns the citizens of Charleston, Mississippi into flesh hungry zombies! Before long a group of young friends find themselves under siege by the hungry hoards at a music festival (more on that in a bit)…a conflict that soon spills over into the streets of the town itself! Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies has some good things going for it; for starters the characters are actually extremely likable (and in some cases completely ridiculous like the guitar totin’ Mayor who is an absolute riot, and Johnny McPhail as Ben who steals every scene he is in), and no matter how over the top the blood, gore, and narrative get (and it does get bonkers A.F.) the protagonists help ground us…it’s a delicate, hard to pull off balance, and this flick does it well. Another heaping helpin’ of accolades

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 8, 2018
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Flatwoods Monster: A Legacy of Fear is Creepy, Campfire Horror Story Cool!

Beginning as it does with an opening credits sequence that wouldn’t be out of place in any given ’50’s era alien invasion flick, The Flatwoods Monster: A Legacy of Fear spins a yarn jammed fat with flying saucers, putrid smelling monsters, and flesh melting fog…and the best part of it all is, this is believed by many to be a true story! The documentary begins by introducing us to the bucolic splendor of Braxton County West Virginia, and more supposedly the sleepy hamlet of Flatwoods…a town where you would likely find more tipped cows than space invaders (though West Virginia itself has been a hotbed of paranormal activity for ages, with the most prominent example being The Mothman), yet in 1952 the May family had an experience that blew that all to hell and back, as they witnessed a strange craft land and dispense an outre (perhaps mechanical) being that scared them shitless…as it would anyone. But the May family

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 7, 2018
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