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DanXIII

1,293 stories

Movie Review: Darkman (1990) – Scream Factory 4k/Blu-ray

Attorney Julie Hastings (Frances McDormand, Fargo) has the dirt on the bribes big time developer Louis Strack Jr.(Colin Friels, Dark City) has been using to get the job done hassle-free, and this upsets his ass greatly… so much so, he enlists the help of gangster/psychopath Robert G. Durant (Robert G. Durant, Dr. Giggles) to destroy those documents with extreme prejudice! This is shitty news for Hastings’ boyfriend Dr. Peyton Westlake (Liam Neeson, Taken, Next of Kin), a scientist that has invented synthetic skin for burn victims that can be 3-D printed to any specifications… but the material only lasts 99 minutes before dissolving, as he’s around when Durant comes a-callin’ which results in him both getting severely burned, but impervious to pain thanks to the treatment for said burns (even though the world believes him dead). Naturally, he needs to exact revenge on those that wronged him… and he does just that, because not only has the attempted murder left

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 26, 2024

Movie Review: Bloodmoon (1990) – Severin Blu-ray

The girls at St. Elizabeth’s Catholic School are up to their teased-out tresses in trouble. If they aren’t constantly in danger of being caught by staff as they get hot n’ horny with the boys from nearby Winchester School (and occasionally a local or two… who just so happen to be the eternal subject of those rich Winchester lads bullying), there’s a killer on the loose on Lover’s Lane offing the student bodies of both academies with his barbwire killing implement! As the bodies (and suspects) go up exponentially the gals n’ guys must keep their wits about them if they are to survive this deadly ordeal with their Aquanetted coifs in-tact… and the rest of their bodies as well! Director Alec Mills certainly wanted to emulate the slasher genre that was sweeping America in the eerie ‘80s, and along with screenwriter Robert Brennan he does just that… but given the fact this film was produced in Australia we get

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 15, 2024

Movie Review: Burial Ground (1981) – Severin 4k/Blu-ray

You know how when you are a connoisseur of something, let’s say for instance; Italian fright flicks, there tends to be tiers of quality? I mean you got your Suspiria and your The Beyond, then you get a bit further out and you have your Buio Omega and other delightfully hardcore shit… then things get a bit cheaper with the likes of Bruno Mattei and titles like Hell of the Living Dead… and then you get right down there towards the bottom and you find things like the flick we are taking a look at today, Burial Ground, and well… that’s the type of unadulterated nonsense that yours cruelly can really sink his fangs into! After an opening where the European equivalent of Rick Rubin attempts to stave off a zombie attack with this bon mot; “Wait, stand back; I’m your friend!” we get into the story proper of ol’ Burial Ground… and by that I mean a bunch of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 9, 2024

Movie Review: The Terror (1963)/The Little Shop of Horrors (1960) – Film Masters Blu-ray

You may remember 1963’s Roger Corman fright flick The Terror from a shit-ton of bargain basement “horror collection” DVDs… hell you may even remember it’s presence in the discount VHS bins of decades past… but yeah, it’s been around the block a few million times, which brings us the newest release of the picture courtesy of Film Masters… The long and the short of The Terror goes as follows: in 1806, a French soldier named André Duvalier (Jack Nicholson, The Shining) encounters, and becomes enchanted by, a dark-haired, mysterious beauty named Helene (Sandra Knight) who bares a striking resemblance to a woman named Ilsa; the dead wife of a local known as Baron Victor Frederick von Leppe (Boris Karloff, 1931’s adaptation of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein). Attempting to learn more about Helene, Duvalier encounters the town’s witch, Katrina (Dorothy Neumann) before arriving at the door of the Baron’s Gothic castle… and come to find out he’s haunted by Helene/Ilsa as well,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 9, 2024

Movie Review: Tombs of the Blind Dead (1972) – Synapse

While vacationing, Virginia (María Elena Arpón), and her pal Roger (César Burner) bump into Virginia’s former boarding school chum/former lover Betty (Lone Fleming) decide to take a train ride. Whoopie-shit you may say, but wait… Virginia gets super jealous of Roger’s interest in Betty and decides to hop of that train and goes for a stroll where she ends up wandering in the wind-swept ruined town of Berzano. While that would be creepy enough on it’s own, this location was once home to a cadre of Knights Templar in the Middle Ages… but they were executed by hanging for crimes of cavortin’ with the Devil… oh, and performing ritual, cannibalistic sacrifice… but unfortunately for our good friend Virginia, they are more of the walking dead-style of deceased… and at night they rise as rotted, eyeless, hooded cloak wearing zombie mother fuckers… and their horses too! Being the supernatural menace that they are, the knights dispatch Virginia by biting the living

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 7, 2024

Movie Review: Videodrome (1983) – Criterion 4K/Blu-ray

Max Renn (James Woods, John Carpenter’s Vampires) is the president of tiny UHF station CIVIC-TV; a channel that stays afloat thanks to it’s regular broadcasts containing ample amounts of those hoary ol’ chestnuts, sex and violence! Bored with the normal softcore smut he’s is offered for broadcast, Mmax turns his eyes skyward for inspiration… namely by using CIVIC-TV’s big-ass satellite dish to find new programs that’ll excite both himself and his viewers. To that end, he gets turned on to Videodrome; a plot-less torture program… most likely unsimulated… that is broadcast from Pittsburgh. Along the way he gets his new sadomasochistic girlfriend, the radio host Nicki Brand (Blondie’s Debbie Harry) who gets it in her head that she wants to try and audition for the show. His investigation as to the show’s origin brings him to The Cathode Ray Mission; a homeless shelter that seeks to rehabilitate derelicts through constant exposure to television… and was the home of the TV-based

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DanXIII
Mar 1, 2024

Movie Review: Don’t Look Now (1973) – Criterion Collection 4K/Blu-ray

After the tragic drowning death of their daughter, John Baxter (Donald Sutherland) and his wife Laura (Julie Christie) head to Venice from their home in England as John has been hired to restore an ages-old church to it’s former glory. I’m sure all that water in Venice will help them forget the soggy misery of the past… Even if a change of location would help them, the psychic visions of blind Heather (Hilary Mason… a familiar face to fans of Charles Band’s pre-Full Moon outfit Empire Pictures for her appearances in Stuart Gordon’s Robot Jox and Dolls) will bring those memories right back as she claims she can see their daughter, whom she describes with chilling accuracy. This begins taking a toll on Laura, which isn’t really helped by the continued presence of Heather and her sister Wendy (Clelia Matania) who hold a séance to help Laura communicate with her daughter beyond the veil. Soon Laura is shipped back to

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Feb 25, 2024

Movie Review: Lycan Colony (2006) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

A child is cornered by hunters before being rescued by a large, wolf-like creature (I could have just said werewolf, but I like making shit hard on myself) who rips them hombres a new asshole real speedy-like! Next up we meet Dr. Dan (Bill Sykes); a former hot-shot surgeon/drunk, now self-exiled to a small rural town where he is allowed to practice medicine as long as he attends local AA meetings. Along the way, his son Stewart (Ryan O Roy) is bitten by an overly-horny townie girl, Sarah (Libby Collins), and before long turns real hairy… and fang-y… because unbeknownst to Dan’s family, he has escaped his troubles only to find himself doctoring smack-dab in the middle of a town of werewolves… werewolves who mostly want to live in peace with humanity… but of course there is a certain number among them that are more than happy to use human’s as cattle… chief among them pub owner Zev (Steve Pascucci

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Feb 25, 2024

Movie Review: Cutting Class (1989) – MVD Rewind 4K/Blu-ray

Opening like a live-action adaptation of the classic video game Paperboy, the daily news is shown kissing pavement accompanied by the sound of a sack of bricks hittin’ a dirt road. Why do I mention it? Well One, it comes back later loud n’ proud to signify all manner of things getting tossed to the ground, and Two I found it funny as balls. What does any of that have to do with the plot synopsis of the film that usually appears ‘round these parts? Absolutely nothing. Moving on… Oh wait, yes it does… said newspapers contain a headline about a local boy being released from ye olde asylum and apparently a killing was involved… we’ll get back to that one soon, believe you me! Coincidentally, District Attorney William Carson III (Martin Mull, Clue) is murdered on a camping trip. This is of course unbeknownst to his daughter Paula, portrayed by popular late ‘80s scream queen Jill Schoelen (The Stepfather,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Feb 25, 2024

Movie Review: Willy’s Wonderland (2021) – Scream Factory 4K

A man, let’s just call him The Janitor (Nicholas Cage)… since that’s about it as far as names go for this fella, gets stranded in a rural town after a set of misplaced spike bars, owned by the towns rather intense Sheriff (Beth Grant), blows out the tires of his super-charged sports car. This poses a problem as the silent stranger is low on the dough, so the town’s “cash only” mechanic takes our hero to meet Tex Macadoo (Ric Reitz), the proprietor of the soon-to-re-open Chuckie Cheese surrogate, Willy’s Wonderland, and he has a proposition for ol’ “Jan”; namely if he spends the night cleaning up the place he can have the tires free of charge. Small problem with that particular task; Tex fails to mention that Willy Weasel and all of his putrid pals come to life and these arcane automatons are out for blood! Credit where credit is due; The Janitor can definitely take care of himself,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Feb 14, 2024

More from DanXIII

Movie Review: Darkman (1990) – Scream Factory 4k/Blu-ray

Attorney Julie Hastings (Frances McDormand, Fargo) has the dirt on the bribes big time developer Louis Strack Jr.(Colin Friels, Dark City) has been using to get the job done hassle-free, and this upsets his ass greatly… so much so, he enlists the help of gangster/psychopath Robert G. Durant (Robert G. Durant, Dr. Giggles) to destroy those documents with extreme prejudice! This is shitty news for Hastings’ boyfriend Dr. Peyton Westlake (Liam Neeson, Taken, Next of Kin), a scientist that has invented synthetic skin for burn victims that can be 3-D printed to any specifications… but the material only lasts 99 minutes before dissolving, as he’s around when Durant comes a-callin’ which results in him both getting severely burned, but impervious to pain thanks to the treatment for said burns (even though the world believes him dead). Naturally, he needs to exact revenge on those that wronged him… and he does just that, because not only has the attempted murder left

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 26, 2024

Movie Review: Bloodmoon (1990) – Severin Blu-ray

The girls at St. Elizabeth’s Catholic School are up to their teased-out tresses in trouble. If they aren’t constantly in danger of being caught by staff as they get hot n’ horny with the boys from nearby Winchester School (and occasionally a local or two… who just so happen to be the eternal subject of those rich Winchester lads bullying), there’s a killer on the loose on Lover’s Lane offing the student bodies of both academies with his barbwire killing implement! As the bodies (and suspects) go up exponentially the gals n’ guys must keep their wits about them if they are to survive this deadly ordeal with their Aquanetted coifs in-tact… and the rest of their bodies as well! Director Alec Mills certainly wanted to emulate the slasher genre that was sweeping America in the eerie ‘80s, and along with screenwriter Robert Brennan he does just that… but given the fact this film was produced in Australia we get

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 15, 2024

Movie Review: Burial Ground (1981) – Severin 4k/Blu-ray

You know how when you are a connoisseur of something, let’s say for instance; Italian fright flicks, there tends to be tiers of quality? I mean you got your Suspiria and your The Beyond, then you get a bit further out and you have your Buio Omega and other delightfully hardcore shit… then things get a bit cheaper with the likes of Bruno Mattei and titles like Hell of the Living Dead… and then you get right down there towards the bottom and you find things like the flick we are taking a look at today, Burial Ground, and well… that’s the type of unadulterated nonsense that yours cruelly can really sink his fangs into! After an opening where the European equivalent of Rick Rubin attempts to stave off a zombie attack with this bon mot; “Wait, stand back; I’m your friend!” we get into the story proper of ol’ Burial Ground… and by that I mean a bunch of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 9, 2024

Movie Review: The Terror (1963)/The Little Shop of Horrors (1960) – Film Masters Blu-ray

You may remember 1963’s Roger Corman fright flick The Terror from a shit-ton of bargain basement “horror collection” DVDs… hell you may even remember it’s presence in the discount VHS bins of decades past… but yeah, it’s been around the block a few million times, which brings us the newest release of the picture courtesy of Film Masters… The long and the short of The Terror goes as follows: in 1806, a French soldier named André Duvalier (Jack Nicholson, The Shining) encounters, and becomes enchanted by, a dark-haired, mysterious beauty named Helene (Sandra Knight) who bares a striking resemblance to a woman named Ilsa; the dead wife of a local known as Baron Victor Frederick von Leppe (Boris Karloff, 1931’s adaptation of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein). Attempting to learn more about Helene, Duvalier encounters the town’s witch, Katrina (Dorothy Neumann) before arriving at the door of the Baron’s Gothic castle… and come to find out he’s haunted by Helene/Ilsa as well,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 9, 2024

Movie Review: Tombs of the Blind Dead (1972) – Synapse

While vacationing, Virginia (María Elena Arpón), and her pal Roger (César Burner) bump into Virginia’s former boarding school chum/former lover Betty (Lone Fleming) decide to take a train ride. Whoopie-shit you may say, but wait… Virginia gets super jealous of Roger’s interest in Betty and decides to hop of that train and goes for a stroll where she ends up wandering in the wind-swept ruined town of Berzano. While that would be creepy enough on it’s own, this location was once home to a cadre of Knights Templar in the Middle Ages… but they were executed by hanging for crimes of cavortin’ with the Devil… oh, and performing ritual, cannibalistic sacrifice… but unfortunately for our good friend Virginia, they are more of the walking dead-style of deceased… and at night they rise as rotted, eyeless, hooded cloak wearing zombie mother fuckers… and their horses too! Being the supernatural menace that they are, the knights dispatch Virginia by biting the living

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 7, 2024

Movie Review: Videodrome (1983) – Criterion 4K/Blu-ray

Max Renn (James Woods, John Carpenter’s Vampires) is the president of tiny UHF station CIVIC-TV; a channel that stays afloat thanks to it’s regular broadcasts containing ample amounts of those hoary ol’ chestnuts, sex and violence! Bored with the normal softcore smut he’s is offered for broadcast, Mmax turns his eyes skyward for inspiration… namely by using CIVIC-TV’s big-ass satellite dish to find new programs that’ll excite both himself and his viewers. To that end, he gets turned on to Videodrome; a plot-less torture program… most likely unsimulated… that is broadcast from Pittsburgh. Along the way he gets his new sadomasochistic girlfriend, the radio host Nicki Brand (Blondie’s Debbie Harry) who gets it in her head that she wants to try and audition for the show. His investigation as to the show’s origin brings him to The Cathode Ray Mission; a homeless shelter that seeks to rehabilitate derelicts through constant exposure to television… and was the home of the TV-based

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Mar 1, 2024

Movie Review: Don’t Look Now (1973) – Criterion Collection 4K/Blu-ray

After the tragic drowning death of their daughter, John Baxter (Donald Sutherland) and his wife Laura (Julie Christie) head to Venice from their home in England as John has been hired to restore an ages-old church to it’s former glory. I’m sure all that water in Venice will help them forget the soggy misery of the past… Even if a change of location would help them, the psychic visions of blind Heather (Hilary Mason… a familiar face to fans of Charles Band’s pre-Full Moon outfit Empire Pictures for her appearances in Stuart Gordon’s Robot Jox and Dolls) will bring those memories right back as she claims she can see their daughter, whom she describes with chilling accuracy. This begins taking a toll on Laura, which isn’t really helped by the continued presence of Heather and her sister Wendy (Clelia Matania) who hold a séance to help Laura communicate with her daughter beyond the veil. Soon Laura is shipped back to

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Feb 25, 2024

Movie Review: Lycan Colony (2006) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

A child is cornered by hunters before being rescued by a large, wolf-like creature (I could have just said werewolf, but I like making shit hard on myself) who rips them hombres a new asshole real speedy-like! Next up we meet Dr. Dan (Bill Sykes); a former hot-shot surgeon/drunk, now self-exiled to a small rural town where he is allowed to practice medicine as long as he attends local AA meetings. Along the way, his son Stewart (Ryan O Roy) is bitten by an overly-horny townie girl, Sarah (Libby Collins), and before long turns real hairy… and fang-y… because unbeknownst to Dan’s family, he has escaped his troubles only to find himself doctoring smack-dab in the middle of a town of werewolves… werewolves who mostly want to live in peace with humanity… but of course there is a certain number among them that are more than happy to use human’s as cattle… chief among them pub owner Zev (Steve Pascucci

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Feb 25, 2024

Movie Review: Cutting Class (1989) – MVD Rewind 4K/Blu-ray

Opening like a live-action adaptation of the classic video game Paperboy, the daily news is shown kissing pavement accompanied by the sound of a sack of bricks hittin’ a dirt road. Why do I mention it? Well One, it comes back later loud n’ proud to signify all manner of things getting tossed to the ground, and Two I found it funny as balls. What does any of that have to do with the plot synopsis of the film that usually appears ‘round these parts? Absolutely nothing. Moving on… Oh wait, yes it does… said newspapers contain a headline about a local boy being released from ye olde asylum and apparently a killing was involved… we’ll get back to that one soon, believe you me! Coincidentally, District Attorney William Carson III (Martin Mull, Clue) is murdered on a camping trip. This is of course unbeknownst to his daughter Paula, portrayed by popular late ‘80s scream queen Jill Schoelen (The Stepfather,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Feb 25, 2024

Movie Review: Willy’s Wonderland (2021) – Scream Factory 4K

A man, let’s just call him The Janitor (Nicholas Cage)… since that’s about it as far as names go for this fella, gets stranded in a rural town after a set of misplaced spike bars, owned by the towns rather intense Sheriff (Beth Grant), blows out the tires of his super-charged sports car. This poses a problem as the silent stranger is low on the dough, so the town’s “cash only” mechanic takes our hero to meet Tex Macadoo (Ric Reitz), the proprietor of the soon-to-re-open Chuckie Cheese surrogate, Willy’s Wonderland, and he has a proposition for ol’ “Jan”; namely if he spends the night cleaning up the place he can have the tires free of charge. Small problem with that particular task; Tex fails to mention that Willy Weasel and all of his putrid pals come to life and these arcane automatons are out for blood! Credit where credit is due; The Janitor can definitely take care of himself,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Feb 14, 2024
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