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DanXIII

1,293 stories

Richard Glenn Schmidt Gets Down with Murder and Mad Men in Giallo Meltdown 2

If you dig on my style of revoltin’ reviewin’ then let me clue you in on the latest book of fright flick commentary from my putrid pal Richard Glenn Schmidt; Giallo Meltdown 2! Unsurprisingly (unless you are incredibly dense or incredibly easily surprised), Giallo Meltdown 2 is the sequel to Richard’s 2015 beastly book of spaghetti shockers, Giallo Meltdown, and continues the author’s trademark stream of consciousness reviewing style! To add to that, picture sitting around the ol’ terror tube with a group of fiendish friends watching a seemingly endless parade of Italian crime thrillers while everyone offers up their thoughts on the picture at hand often to hilarious effect… this is that shit right there, but in book form! Of course I have already slapped my eerie eyeballs over each and every wicked word of this vicious volume, and it gets my sinister seal of approval both for fans of the genre looking for suggestions for film’s they may

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 5, 2024

Movie Review: The Fifth Thoracic Vertebra – Indiepix DVD

When you sit down to The Fifth Thoracic Vertebra, the debut feature from South Korean Director Park Sye-young, you may think you are settling in to a take on George Barry’s 1977 killer bed flick, Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. Since both features contain killer beds… or more specifically in this film’s case a killer mattress… but the two experiences couldn’t be more different. While Death Bed is a more conventional horror movie, The Fifth Thoracic Vertebra is a melancholy, though completely bizarre, treatise on loneliness and emotion. Following the life cycle of a creature born of fungus that inhabits a mattress owned originally by a couple in a rather crummy relationship, the narrative moves from owner to owner (usually after it feeds on someone), allowing us to experience their sad existences. All of that packs quite an emotional punch that in a conventional drama would be almost overbearing in it’s depressive aesthetic, but since this is ostensibly a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 4, 2024

Short Film Review: Guest 2 (2023)

Remember like four years ago when I clued you beautiful cats n’ creeps in about writer/director Finn Callan’s sinister short Guest? Probably not, but click that highlighted text and you can catch right the hell up! Now that all of that biz is out of the way, let’s dive in to Callan’s follow up, the appropriately titled Guest 2; a longer (but still “short” in the “it’s not quite feature length” sense) deeper dive into the wicked world established in the frightful first go-around! Siblings Jill (Jennifer English) and Ethan (Simon Bigg) are tasked with setting up a support group confab, but E-Dawg has been shirking those responsibilities and sequestered himself in his room. Fed up with such bullshittery, Jill runs the group solo-style and becomes acquainted with with Mia (Natasha Biggs), a woman dealing with severe loneliness and isolation. Unfortunately for Jill, Mia hasn’t been suffering as all alone as she thinks… and soon the preternatural presence, the eponymous

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 3, 2024

Movie Review: Doctor Butcher M.D. / Zombie Holocaust (1982/1980) – Severin 4K Ultra HD

How to even begin a review of 1980’s Doctor Butcher M.D.? I know, let’s start with it’s original Italian version known as Zombie Holocaust (also included in this hefty release from Severin!)… Down Manhattan way, a hospital worker has been making a habit out of eating parts of cadavers, and when discovered takes a dive out of a window and turns into a mannequin that loses it’s arm upon impact with the ground, only to have the limb back right as rain when the shot switches back to the actor… but I digress… Witness to the suicide is Morgue Assistant/New-Age Anthropologist Lori (Alexandra Delli Colli, who would go on to appear in 1982’s Lucio Fulci slasher The New York Ripper) who recognizes a phrase the dying man utters… a phrase common to the Maluku islands where she just so happens to have conveniently grew-up. Before long she teams up with Dr. Peter Chandler (Ian McCulloch who starred in Fulci’s 1979

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 23, 2023

Movie Review: Count Dracula (1970) – Severin 4K

What do you get when you combine Sir Christopher Lee, legendary horror/exploitation filmmaker Jess Franco, the madman that was Klaus Kinski, and an absolute fang-banger of Gothic literature? Why you get a surprisingly more faithful than most, though by no means complete, retelling of Bram Stoker’s 1897 literary masterpiece Dracula of course! After encountering a number of locals that look at him like a dead man walking, lawyer Jonathan Harker (Fred Williams) continues to the Borgo Pass where he is met by a mysterious coachman that takes him to his destination; the castle of Count Dracula (Lee), an aging aristocrat who wishes to secure property in England with Harker’s assistance. Right from the get-go things are off with ol’ Drac, as he casts no reflection in mirrors, has fangs like a wolf, gets excited around blood, and sleeps in a stone coffin… oh, he also has a trio of brides that sleep in coffins and eat the babies of the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 23, 2023

Movie Review: August Underground’s Penance (2007) – Unearthed Films Blu-ray/DVD combo

Peter (Fred Vogel) and Crusty (Cristie Whiles) continue on their magical murder-y tour of torture and bloody chaos, but now they spice things right the fuck up and attempt to achieve penance for their violent ways, but that leads to even more misadventure! It’s that last bit of business that sets this entry in the series above it’s predecessors. While the previous August Underground films were basically FX showcases/endurance tests, Penance ups the drama which makes our killers seem more “real” (and almost unbelievably, a tad tragic), which in turn makes this film even more chilling to behold (but don’t worry GoreHounds, your sinister sweet tooth will surely be tickled by the copious violence on display)… oh and none other than the fuckin’ Murder Junkies show up… Since every cat n’ creep digs on comparisons, this is more Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer in vibe than Guinea Pig, but it’s still absolutely brutal from beginning to end! But all

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 18, 2023

Movie Review: Lion-Girl (2023) – Cleopatra Entertainment Blu-ray

Beginning the way you’d imagine a live-action flick created in part by Go Nagai (Devilman, Violence Jack to name but a few… ) would; namely with a shit-ton of nudity (more on that in a bit) and folks turning into demons! After that bit of biz we learn that the world has been turned into a post-apocalyptic wasteland due to meteor strikes with the resulting remains of said strikes turning compatible humans into space demons known as ANORAC (that’s Corona backwards, and more on that in a bit as well). Meanwhile Japan, now known as Neo-Nippon, has fallen under the rule of the tyrannical Shogun Nobuhide Fujinaga (Tomoki Kimura) and his cadre of bondage-gear clad samurai lead by Kaisei Kishi (the ever-popular Derek Mears, who has been in a ton of stuff, so let’s go with 2009’s Friday the 13th update and the 2019 Swamp Thing TV series… and really goes all-fuckin’-out in this role to comic book super-villain perfection!).

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 16, 2023

Movie Review: Horrors of the Black Museum (1959) – VCI Entertainment

After a lengthy intro to the Hypno-Vista process courtesy of hypnotist Emile Franchel (and the film’s U.S. distributor A.I.P. who added this hokum to provide more bang for your movie-going… or watching buck), during which we are given a large swath of bullshit to wade through regarding how we, the audience, will become part of the movie at hand… things get down to brass tacks when a woman receives the ultimate “drop them panties” gift of binoculars from a secret admirer. As is so often the case, the binoculars shoot needles into her eyes (just another in a continuing series of murders plaguing the city), which leads her roommate to seek the assistance of the local police… but who should barge in and offer his two-cents on the matter but journalist and crime writer Edmond Bancroft (Michael Gough, whom you may recognize from Tim Burton’s Batman films where he played loyal butler Alfred Pennyworth). Ol’ Ed states the binoculars look

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 11, 2023

Movie Review: The Wrong Door (1990) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Audio Production student Ted (Matt Felmlee) is major bummed as he has to stay behind and work on an important school assignment while is pals bound off for a lil’ cabin-based R&R. At least there’s a bit of a silver lining as his side-hustle of performing at parties has provided a source of much needed funds. So to that end he throws on his oft-requested Jester costume (seriously, who the fuck would ask for that) and speeds off into the night and to the apartment where the raging, and presumably Ren Faire inspired (spoiler: it isn’t), party is to take place. If you payed attention to that title up yonder you can guess where this is going right quick, as Ted knocks on the wrong door and discovers a woman in apparent distress before being dragged a few doors down to the right location by a party guest. Let me just say, the people at this party are totally balls

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 3, 2023

Movie Review: Vampires and Other Stereotypes (1994) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

In The Big Apple, fortune teller fucker par excellence Ivan (Bill White) and his stoic partner Harry (Ed Hubbard) spend their nights patrolling the mean streets in order to rid the world of various supernatural menaces. While in the middle of one such operation, three ladies and a leather-clad lothario inadvertently make the scene and accidentally open a portal to hell which unleashes a creepy cadre of creatures and plunges the surroundings into an alternate dimension. Before long the body count begins to rise as the creatures become absolutely hellbent (literally) on keeping Ivan, Harry, et. al trapped within those wicked walls until sunrise so that their residence becomes permanent! The first thing you may notice about writer/director Kevin J. Lindenmuth (the Alien Agenda series.. and making his debut here) is that for a shot on video production (though the camcorders utilized were of the pricey-as-fuck variety) it makes really good use of it’s budget. Set in one central warehouse

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 3, 2023

More from DanXIII

Richard Glenn Schmidt Gets Down with Murder and Mad Men in Giallo Meltdown 2

If you dig on my style of revoltin’ reviewin’ then let me clue you in on the latest book of fright flick commentary from my putrid pal Richard Glenn Schmidt; Giallo Meltdown 2! Unsurprisingly (unless you are incredibly dense or incredibly easily surprised), Giallo Meltdown 2 is the sequel to Richard’s 2015 beastly book of spaghetti shockers, Giallo Meltdown, and continues the author’s trademark stream of consciousness reviewing style! To add to that, picture sitting around the ol’ terror tube with a group of fiendish friends watching a seemingly endless parade of Italian crime thrillers while everyone offers up their thoughts on the picture at hand often to hilarious effect… this is that shit right there, but in book form! Of course I have already slapped my eerie eyeballs over each and every wicked word of this vicious volume, and it gets my sinister seal of approval both for fans of the genre looking for suggestions for film’s they may

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 5, 2024

Movie Review: The Fifth Thoracic Vertebra – Indiepix DVD

When you sit down to The Fifth Thoracic Vertebra, the debut feature from South Korean Director Park Sye-young, you may think you are settling in to a take on George Barry’s 1977 killer bed flick, Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. Since both features contain killer beds… or more specifically in this film’s case a killer mattress… but the two experiences couldn’t be more different. While Death Bed is a more conventional horror movie, The Fifth Thoracic Vertebra is a melancholy, though completely bizarre, treatise on loneliness and emotion. Following the life cycle of a creature born of fungus that inhabits a mattress owned originally by a couple in a rather crummy relationship, the narrative moves from owner to owner (usually after it feeds on someone), allowing us to experience their sad existences. All of that packs quite an emotional punch that in a conventional drama would be almost overbearing in it’s depressive aesthetic, but since this is ostensibly a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 4, 2024

Short Film Review: Guest 2 (2023)

Remember like four years ago when I clued you beautiful cats n’ creeps in about writer/director Finn Callan’s sinister short Guest? Probably not, but click that highlighted text and you can catch right the hell up! Now that all of that biz is out of the way, let’s dive in to Callan’s follow up, the appropriately titled Guest 2; a longer (but still “short” in the “it’s not quite feature length” sense) deeper dive into the wicked world established in the frightful first go-around! Siblings Jill (Jennifer English) and Ethan (Simon Bigg) are tasked with setting up a support group confab, but E-Dawg has been shirking those responsibilities and sequestered himself in his room. Fed up with such bullshittery, Jill runs the group solo-style and becomes acquainted with with Mia (Natasha Biggs), a woman dealing with severe loneliness and isolation. Unfortunately for Jill, Mia hasn’t been suffering as all alone as she thinks… and soon the preternatural presence, the eponymous

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jan 3, 2024

Movie Review: Doctor Butcher M.D. / Zombie Holocaust (1982/1980) – Severin 4K Ultra HD

How to even begin a review of 1980’s Doctor Butcher M.D.? I know, let’s start with it’s original Italian version known as Zombie Holocaust (also included in this hefty release from Severin!)… Down Manhattan way, a hospital worker has been making a habit out of eating parts of cadavers, and when discovered takes a dive out of a window and turns into a mannequin that loses it’s arm upon impact with the ground, only to have the limb back right as rain when the shot switches back to the actor… but I digress… Witness to the suicide is Morgue Assistant/New-Age Anthropologist Lori (Alexandra Delli Colli, who would go on to appear in 1982’s Lucio Fulci slasher The New York Ripper) who recognizes a phrase the dying man utters… a phrase common to the Maluku islands where she just so happens to have conveniently grew-up. Before long she teams up with Dr. Peter Chandler (Ian McCulloch who starred in Fulci’s 1979

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 23, 2023

Movie Review: Count Dracula (1970) – Severin 4K

What do you get when you combine Sir Christopher Lee, legendary horror/exploitation filmmaker Jess Franco, the madman that was Klaus Kinski, and an absolute fang-banger of Gothic literature? Why you get a surprisingly more faithful than most, though by no means complete, retelling of Bram Stoker’s 1897 literary masterpiece Dracula of course! After encountering a number of locals that look at him like a dead man walking, lawyer Jonathan Harker (Fred Williams) continues to the Borgo Pass where he is met by a mysterious coachman that takes him to his destination; the castle of Count Dracula (Lee), an aging aristocrat who wishes to secure property in England with Harker’s assistance. Right from the get-go things are off with ol’ Drac, as he casts no reflection in mirrors, has fangs like a wolf, gets excited around blood, and sleeps in a stone coffin… oh, he also has a trio of brides that sleep in coffins and eat the babies of the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 23, 2023

Movie Review: August Underground’s Penance (2007) – Unearthed Films Blu-ray/DVD combo

Peter (Fred Vogel) and Crusty (Cristie Whiles) continue on their magical murder-y tour of torture and bloody chaos, but now they spice things right the fuck up and attempt to achieve penance for their violent ways, but that leads to even more misadventure! It’s that last bit of business that sets this entry in the series above it’s predecessors. While the previous August Underground films were basically FX showcases/endurance tests, Penance ups the drama which makes our killers seem more “real” (and almost unbelievably, a tad tragic), which in turn makes this film even more chilling to behold (but don’t worry GoreHounds, your sinister sweet tooth will surely be tickled by the copious violence on display)… oh and none other than the fuckin’ Murder Junkies show up… Since every cat n’ creep digs on comparisons, this is more Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer in vibe than Guinea Pig, but it’s still absolutely brutal from beginning to end! But all

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 18, 2023

Movie Review: Lion-Girl (2023) – Cleopatra Entertainment Blu-ray

Beginning the way you’d imagine a live-action flick created in part by Go Nagai (Devilman, Violence Jack to name but a few… ) would; namely with a shit-ton of nudity (more on that in a bit) and folks turning into demons! After that bit of biz we learn that the world has been turned into a post-apocalyptic wasteland due to meteor strikes with the resulting remains of said strikes turning compatible humans into space demons known as ANORAC (that’s Corona backwards, and more on that in a bit as well). Meanwhile Japan, now known as Neo-Nippon, has fallen under the rule of the tyrannical Shogun Nobuhide Fujinaga (Tomoki Kimura) and his cadre of bondage-gear clad samurai lead by Kaisei Kishi (the ever-popular Derek Mears, who has been in a ton of stuff, so let’s go with 2009’s Friday the 13th update and the 2019 Swamp Thing TV series… and really goes all-fuckin’-out in this role to comic book super-villain perfection!).

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 16, 2023

Movie Review: Horrors of the Black Museum (1959) – VCI Entertainment

After a lengthy intro to the Hypno-Vista process courtesy of hypnotist Emile Franchel (and the film’s U.S. distributor A.I.P. who added this hokum to provide more bang for your movie-going… or watching buck), during which we are given a large swath of bullshit to wade through regarding how we, the audience, will become part of the movie at hand… things get down to brass tacks when a woman receives the ultimate “drop them panties” gift of binoculars from a secret admirer. As is so often the case, the binoculars shoot needles into her eyes (just another in a continuing series of murders plaguing the city), which leads her roommate to seek the assistance of the local police… but who should barge in and offer his two-cents on the matter but journalist and crime writer Edmond Bancroft (Michael Gough, whom you may recognize from Tim Burton’s Batman films where he played loyal butler Alfred Pennyworth). Ol’ Ed states the binoculars look

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 11, 2023

Movie Review: The Wrong Door (1990) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Audio Production student Ted (Matt Felmlee) is major bummed as he has to stay behind and work on an important school assignment while is pals bound off for a lil’ cabin-based R&R. At least there’s a bit of a silver lining as his side-hustle of performing at parties has provided a source of much needed funds. So to that end he throws on his oft-requested Jester costume (seriously, who the fuck would ask for that) and speeds off into the night and to the apartment where the raging, and presumably Ren Faire inspired (spoiler: it isn’t), party is to take place. If you payed attention to that title up yonder you can guess where this is going right quick, as Ted knocks on the wrong door and discovers a woman in apparent distress before being dragged a few doors down to the right location by a party guest. Let me just say, the people at this party are totally balls

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 3, 2023

Movie Review: Vampires and Other Stereotypes (1994) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

In The Big Apple, fortune teller fucker par excellence Ivan (Bill White) and his stoic partner Harry (Ed Hubbard) spend their nights patrolling the mean streets in order to rid the world of various supernatural menaces. While in the middle of one such operation, three ladies and a leather-clad lothario inadvertently make the scene and accidentally open a portal to hell which unleashes a creepy cadre of creatures and plunges the surroundings into an alternate dimension. Before long the body count begins to rise as the creatures become absolutely hellbent (literally) on keeping Ivan, Harry, et. al trapped within those wicked walls until sunrise so that their residence becomes permanent! The first thing you may notice about writer/director Kevin J. Lindenmuth (the Alien Agenda series.. and making his debut here) is that for a shot on video production (though the camcorders utilized were of the pricey-as-fuck variety) it makes really good use of it’s budget. Set in one central warehouse

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 3, 2023
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