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DanXIII

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Movie Review: Scream Queen (2002) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

After having a diva moment on the wind-battered beachfront set of her latest fright flick endeavor (the aptly titled Scream Queen), outlandishly named actress Malicia Tombs (legendary Scream Queen Linnea Quigley, The Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Demons, Witchtrap, and many, many more) dies in a fiery car crash under those pesky “mysterious circumstances” one is so loathe to encounter. Anyway, cut to some news footage about Tombs and then straight into a scene from that aforementioned picture… which is not in fact a scene, rather a music video featuring a horror appropriate cover of that ol’ Nancy Sinatra classic These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ performed by Quigley herself! Flash forward a year and it’s revealed Tombs still lives… and she’s invited the cast and crew, all of which have fallen on hard times after the doomed film shoot, to her macabre mansion (realized by a miniature that I absolutely adored!) where she offers to help

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 27, 2023

Movie Review: Bloodthirst (2023) – Lionsgate DVD

In the remains of post-apocalyptic Earth, the small pocket of human’s that remain eke out a humble existence… but their lives are subject to static of the fang-bang variety as groups of viscous vamps feed off them with wickedly wild abandon. Enter: John Shepard (Costas Mandylor, the Saw franchise, and that rad live-action Fist of the North Star adaptation from the mid-’90s… which desperately needs a special edition release… but that’s another story), a crossbow wielding bad-ass with a bit of a secret who strides this Neo-Wild West with leather-clad purpose… namely the desire to pull a stake n’ bake on the Vampire Master (screen heavy par excellence Robert LaSardo) along with his paranormal paramour, the Vampire Queen (American Pie’s Tara Reid). Slowly John acquires a rag-tag group of companions to aid him on his quest… but will their combined might and Shepard’s grim determination be enough to eliminate those demonic vein-drainers and bring piece to a shattered planet?! There’s

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 21, 2023

Movie Review: Crocodile Island (2020) – WellGo USA DVD

The Dragon’s Triangle is like an Asia-based Bermuda Triangle, but instead of the normal magnetic interference bringing down aircraft over the area (though that plays a part too), ol’ D.S. is lousy with pterodactyls which have a tendency to smash into planes en masse and causing them to crash on a remote island populated by the biggest fuckin’ crocodile in forever… like since prehistoric times “forever”! Enter: Lin Hao (Gallen Lo) and his daughter Yi (Liao Yinyue), who along with a handful of others have recently survived a passenger plane crash in the aforementioned location. Now as the few that remain try to survive both in-fighting and the harsh locale they’ll have to deal with not only crocodiles of varying size, as well as giant spiders that stalk the mist-covered forests of the island! Will Lin be able to keep his skin intact while also looking out for his daughter and the other passengers, or will they become just more

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 20, 2023

Movie Review: Beast From Haunted Cave (1959) – Film Masters Blu-ray

Beast From Haunted Cave begins the only way it could; with skiing, day-drinking, and an opening credit shout-out to South Dakota as we are introduced to smarmy criminal Alexander Ward (Frank Wolff) and his gang, who’s ranks include his boozy-floozy gal pal Gypsy Boulet (played to rum-soaked horny… yet tragic and sympathetic perfection by Sheila Carol), who plan on robbing a nearby bank vault containing some gold bars. In order to get that goal accomplished, our villains pose as cross-country skiers and hatch a plan to set off an explosion in a nearby gold mine to create a diversion for their heist. Of course this being a creature feature, the setting of said explosive unleashes a pissed off long-legged spider thing which pursues them to their hiding spot… namely the remote cabin of ski guide Gil (prolific anime voice over artist Michael Forest) who becomes both an unwitting pawn in the evildoer’s plan, and horny for Gypsy… a lot of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 19, 2023

Movie Review: Deadgirl (15th Anniversary Edition) – Unearthed Film’s Blu-ray

Buckle-up cats n’ creeps, because if you’ve never heard of 2008’s Deadgirl you are definitely in for a raised fuckin’ eyebrow or two, to say the very least… One hot day, high school chums Rickie (Shiloh Fernandez) and J.T. (Noah Segan) take a powder from school, and decide to hang out at Ye Olde Abandoned Psychiatric Hospital. Once there they find a naked, mute woman (Jenny Spain) lashed to a table. Naturally J.T. near-immediately wants to rape the woman, but Rickie is wisely none too keen on that particular action and books… but later J.T. reveals the girl is an undead creature as he attempted to put a murder on her to no avail. Still with me… if so, you can probably already gauge if this particular flick is your cup of terror tea or not. Moving on… Soon J.T. is inviting others to have a go at Deadgirl, which eventually involves local bully Johnny (Andrew DiPalma)… the paramour of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 3, 2023

Movie Review: The Toxic Avenger Collection Tox Set 4K Ultra HD (1984 – 2000)

Troma is a god-damned freaky flick legend, and for decades the studio’s most popular creation has been the radioactive waste-spawned superhero; The Toxic Avenger! With an impending (at the time of this wicked writing) re-make coming our way, the time is nigh to remaster Toxie’s misadventures and slap them in front of the eerie eyeballs of fanatics new and old… which brings us to this 4K/Blu-ray box set from Troma and MVD Entertainment! Where better to begin than with the one that started the entire beastly ball rolling; 1984’s The Toxic Avenger! Bozo (Gary Schneider) and his cretin cronies spend their time working out, fuckin’, and running over people with their car for shits n’ grins… but the one thing that really gets their rocks off is making life miserable for the local gymnasium’s nerdy janitor, Melvin (Mark Torgl). After one such humiliation (involving a sheep in a bra, and Melvin in a tutu), Melvin ends up both on fire

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 22, 2023

Dracula Party Unleash New Single ‘DeadNakedCoveredInBlood’!

Our putrid pals, Dracula Party, have just conjured forth their newest single; DeadNakedCoveredInBlood… the video for which is an insanely awesome, neon-drenched, Hellraiser-style bloodbath… and if that doesn’t shake the beastly bats from your belfry I have no idea what will my cats n’ creeps! Just feast your putrid peepers on that vicious video die-rectly below… Now why not head right here and grab the audio version (which includes the B-side Something Scary) today, and begin making that Halloween mix that’ll make this Samhain sinister indeed!

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 9, 2023

Movie Review: Vile (2011) – MVD Blu-ray

A gaggle of friends make that classic fright flick mistake by stopping to pick up an attractive hitchhiker. The end result of that blunder finds our heroes drugged, dragged to some shady-ass building or another, and fitted with vials in the base of their skulls. They soon learn that their captor intends on harvesting their brain fluid in those vicious vials… fluid collected via episodes of extreme pain! Soon all captives within those wicked walls are giving and receiving the gift of torture porn in a bid to survive the ordeal, but in all honesty their chances are slim as fuck… Coming from Director Taylor Sheridan (who wrote 2015’s Sicario) and Screenwriters Eric Jay Beck and Rob Kowsaluk, Vile is an odd entry in the aforementioned torture porn sub-genre. Populated with intentionally rote characters, it’s hard to root for anyone in particular… which isn’t usually a problem, as torture porn flicks are often made on the strength of their effects

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 1, 2023

Movie Review: Beneath Us All (2023)

Viking vampires and the foster care system… if nothing else, Beneath Us All combines two incredibly disparate elements and makes it all flow… The Gibbs, Todd (Sean Whalen, The People Under the Stairs, The FP) and Janelle (fantastic character actor Maria Olsen, Paranormal Activity 3, Starry Eyes, and many, many more) are foster parents who have a strained relationship when it comes to one of their wards, Julie (Angelina Danielle Cama) who is mortified by Todd putting an injured bird she found out of it’s misery. This causes Julie to flee to the woods, where surely nothing bad will happen to her… Well, nothing does happen to her at first, but she does make a rather unsettling discovery in the form of an ancient Viking vampire Frey (Yan Birch) who is more than ready to get back on his feet and rip the citizens of a nearby town a few new assholes! Frey wastes no time setting up shop in

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 1, 2023

Movie Review: Night of the Demons (1988)/Night of the Demons 2 (1994) – Scream Factory 4K

Angela (Amelia Kinkade) and Suzanne (legendary Scream Queen Linnea Quigley) are the type of ladies that offer up shoplifting and ass showing (set to the sweet, sweet strains of Pac-Man for the Atari 2600) in equal measure… I’ll let you detectives figure out who is more responsible for what… they are also the type to throw a Halloween hootnanny at an allegedly cursed, definitely abandoned mortuary. Once the party commences drinks are consumed, dancing is attempted, and a séance is held… the latter of which ends up freeing a demon from it’s prison deep within the confines of the mortuary that possesses Suzanne… and eventually Angela after that ol’ crowd-pleaser; a girl on girl kiss goes down! After that we are one Bauhaus-set dance number and a lipstick eatin’ titty away from a full-on murderous monster mash that our heroes will be hard pressed to survive! Filled with oh-so-fucking much Grade-A wise-assery, hard-rocking tunes about computer dating, exclamations such as

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 1, 2023

More from DanXIII

Movie Review: Scream Queen (2002) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

After having a diva moment on the wind-battered beachfront set of her latest fright flick endeavor (the aptly titled Scream Queen), outlandishly named actress Malicia Tombs (legendary Scream Queen Linnea Quigley, The Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Demons, Witchtrap, and many, many more) dies in a fiery car crash under those pesky “mysterious circumstances” one is so loathe to encounter. Anyway, cut to some news footage about Tombs and then straight into a scene from that aforementioned picture… which is not in fact a scene, rather a music video featuring a horror appropriate cover of that ol’ Nancy Sinatra classic These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ performed by Quigley herself! Flash forward a year and it’s revealed Tombs still lives… and she’s invited the cast and crew, all of which have fallen on hard times after the doomed film shoot, to her macabre mansion (realized by a miniature that I absolutely adored!) where she offers to help

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 27, 2023

Movie Review: Bloodthirst (2023) – Lionsgate DVD

In the remains of post-apocalyptic Earth, the small pocket of human’s that remain eke out a humble existence… but their lives are subject to static of the fang-bang variety as groups of viscous vamps feed off them with wickedly wild abandon. Enter: John Shepard (Costas Mandylor, the Saw franchise, and that rad live-action Fist of the North Star adaptation from the mid-’90s… which desperately needs a special edition release… but that’s another story), a crossbow wielding bad-ass with a bit of a secret who strides this Neo-Wild West with leather-clad purpose… namely the desire to pull a stake n’ bake on the Vampire Master (screen heavy par excellence Robert LaSardo) along with his paranormal paramour, the Vampire Queen (American Pie’s Tara Reid). Slowly John acquires a rag-tag group of companions to aid him on his quest… but will their combined might and Shepard’s grim determination be enough to eliminate those demonic vein-drainers and bring piece to a shattered planet?! There’s

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 21, 2023

Movie Review: Crocodile Island (2020) – WellGo USA DVD

The Dragon’s Triangle is like an Asia-based Bermuda Triangle, but instead of the normal magnetic interference bringing down aircraft over the area (though that plays a part too), ol’ D.S. is lousy with pterodactyls which have a tendency to smash into planes en masse and causing them to crash on a remote island populated by the biggest fuckin’ crocodile in forever… like since prehistoric times “forever”! Enter: Lin Hao (Gallen Lo) and his daughter Yi (Liao Yinyue), who along with a handful of others have recently survived a passenger plane crash in the aforementioned location. Now as the few that remain try to survive both in-fighting and the harsh locale they’ll have to deal with not only crocodiles of varying size, as well as giant spiders that stalk the mist-covered forests of the island! Will Lin be able to keep his skin intact while also looking out for his daughter and the other passengers, or will they become just more

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 20, 2023

Movie Review: Beast From Haunted Cave (1959) – Film Masters Blu-ray

Beast From Haunted Cave begins the only way it could; with skiing, day-drinking, and an opening credit shout-out to South Dakota as we are introduced to smarmy criminal Alexander Ward (Frank Wolff) and his gang, who’s ranks include his boozy-floozy gal pal Gypsy Boulet (played to rum-soaked horny… yet tragic and sympathetic perfection by Sheila Carol), who plan on robbing a nearby bank vault containing some gold bars. In order to get that goal accomplished, our villains pose as cross-country skiers and hatch a plan to set off an explosion in a nearby gold mine to create a diversion for their heist. Of course this being a creature feature, the setting of said explosive unleashes a pissed off long-legged spider thing which pursues them to their hiding spot… namely the remote cabin of ski guide Gil (prolific anime voice over artist Michael Forest) who becomes both an unwitting pawn in the evildoer’s plan, and horny for Gypsy… a lot of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 19, 2023

Movie Review: Deadgirl (15th Anniversary Edition) – Unearthed Film’s Blu-ray

Buckle-up cats n’ creeps, because if you’ve never heard of 2008’s Deadgirl you are definitely in for a raised fuckin’ eyebrow or two, to say the very least… One hot day, high school chums Rickie (Shiloh Fernandez) and J.T. (Noah Segan) take a powder from school, and decide to hang out at Ye Olde Abandoned Psychiatric Hospital. Once there they find a naked, mute woman (Jenny Spain) lashed to a table. Naturally J.T. near-immediately wants to rape the woman, but Rickie is wisely none too keen on that particular action and books… but later J.T. reveals the girl is an undead creature as he attempted to put a murder on her to no avail. Still with me… if so, you can probably already gauge if this particular flick is your cup of terror tea or not. Moving on… Soon J.T. is inviting others to have a go at Deadgirl, which eventually involves local bully Johnny (Andrew DiPalma)… the paramour of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 3, 2023

Movie Review: The Toxic Avenger Collection Tox Set 4K Ultra HD (1984 – 2000)

Troma is a god-damned freaky flick legend, and for decades the studio’s most popular creation has been the radioactive waste-spawned superhero; The Toxic Avenger! With an impending (at the time of this wicked writing) re-make coming our way, the time is nigh to remaster Toxie’s misadventures and slap them in front of the eerie eyeballs of fanatics new and old… which brings us to this 4K/Blu-ray box set from Troma and MVD Entertainment! Where better to begin than with the one that started the entire beastly ball rolling; 1984’s The Toxic Avenger! Bozo (Gary Schneider) and his cretin cronies spend their time working out, fuckin’, and running over people with their car for shits n’ grins… but the one thing that really gets their rocks off is making life miserable for the local gymnasium’s nerdy janitor, Melvin (Mark Torgl). After one such humiliation (involving a sheep in a bra, and Melvin in a tutu), Melvin ends up both on fire

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 22, 2023

Dracula Party Unleash New Single ‘DeadNakedCoveredInBlood’!

Our putrid pals, Dracula Party, have just conjured forth their newest single; DeadNakedCoveredInBlood… the video for which is an insanely awesome, neon-drenched, Hellraiser-style bloodbath… and if that doesn’t shake the beastly bats from your belfry I have no idea what will my cats n’ creeps! Just feast your putrid peepers on that vicious video die-rectly below… Now why not head right here and grab the audio version (which includes the B-side Something Scary) today, and begin making that Halloween mix that’ll make this Samhain sinister indeed!

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 9, 2023

Movie Review: Vile (2011) – MVD Blu-ray

A gaggle of friends make that classic fright flick mistake by stopping to pick up an attractive hitchhiker. The end result of that blunder finds our heroes drugged, dragged to some shady-ass building or another, and fitted with vials in the base of their skulls. They soon learn that their captor intends on harvesting their brain fluid in those vicious vials… fluid collected via episodes of extreme pain! Soon all captives within those wicked walls are giving and receiving the gift of torture porn in a bid to survive the ordeal, but in all honesty their chances are slim as fuck… Coming from Director Taylor Sheridan (who wrote 2015’s Sicario) and Screenwriters Eric Jay Beck and Rob Kowsaluk, Vile is an odd entry in the aforementioned torture porn sub-genre. Populated with intentionally rote characters, it’s hard to root for anyone in particular… which isn’t usually a problem, as torture porn flicks are often made on the strength of their effects

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 1, 2023

Movie Review: Beneath Us All (2023)

Viking vampires and the foster care system… if nothing else, Beneath Us All combines two incredibly disparate elements and makes it all flow… The Gibbs, Todd (Sean Whalen, The People Under the Stairs, The FP) and Janelle (fantastic character actor Maria Olsen, Paranormal Activity 3, Starry Eyes, and many, many more) are foster parents who have a strained relationship when it comes to one of their wards, Julie (Angelina Danielle Cama) who is mortified by Todd putting an injured bird she found out of it’s misery. This causes Julie to flee to the woods, where surely nothing bad will happen to her… Well, nothing does happen to her at first, but she does make a rather unsettling discovery in the form of an ancient Viking vampire Frey (Yan Birch) who is more than ready to get back on his feet and rip the citizens of a nearby town a few new assholes! Frey wastes no time setting up shop in

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 1, 2023

Movie Review: Night of the Demons (1988)/Night of the Demons 2 (1994) – Scream Factory 4K

Angela (Amelia Kinkade) and Suzanne (legendary Scream Queen Linnea Quigley) are the type of ladies that offer up shoplifting and ass showing (set to the sweet, sweet strains of Pac-Man for the Atari 2600) in equal measure… I’ll let you detectives figure out who is more responsible for what… they are also the type to throw a Halloween hootnanny at an allegedly cursed, definitely abandoned mortuary. Once the party commences drinks are consumed, dancing is attempted, and a séance is held… the latter of which ends up freeing a demon from it’s prison deep within the confines of the mortuary that possesses Suzanne… and eventually Angela after that ol’ crowd-pleaser; a girl on girl kiss goes down! After that we are one Bauhaus-set dance number and a lipstick eatin’ titty away from a full-on murderous monster mash that our heroes will be hard pressed to survive! Filled with oh-so-fucking much Grade-A wise-assery, hard-rocking tunes about computer dating, exclamations such as

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 1, 2023
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