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DanXIII

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Horror Fuel

Movie Review: J.D.’s Revenge

J.D.’s Revenge begins with a mobster (named J.D. ‘natch) being eliminated in 1940’s New Orleans. Fast forward to the groovy-ass 1970’s and mild mannered student Issac is out on the town with his pals. The gang takes in a hypnotist act with ol’ Issac hopping on stage to volunteer…but instead of quitting smoking, or clucking like a chicken, our hero slowly starts to be possessed by the spirit of J.D. (amid headaches, slaughterhouse imagery, rough sex, and jaunty hat purchasings…and on a side note, his Doctor tells him to smoke some weed and relax…way to be forward thinking movie!). Soon Joltin’ J.D. is completely in command and he begins a murderous plan to even the score with Issac as his unwilling vessel! J.D.’s Revenge is a fun entry in both the blaxploitation and possession genres; it has a likable cast full of familiar faces, with Glynn Turman as Issac giving a great turn going from mild mannered everyman to sadistic

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 10, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: A Duo of Demonic Docs Bring Creepy Cryptids to Your Home!

It’s a rare occurrence when your’s cruelly is sent a documentary to review; but today I have two for ya (I feel so F’n fancy); Invasion on Chestnut Ridge and The Mothman of Point Pleasant; two deep dives into cryptids, creeps, and catastrophe from the fine fiends at Small Town Monsters! So, without further arcane adieu let’s dip our freaky feet into some good ol’ monstrous mayhem! Invasion on Chestnut Ridge concerns a series of incidents that were mostly unknown to me (and believe me, I am always pleased as poison punch to learn about new paranormal occurrences). Chestnut Ridge sits in southern Pennsylvania; a rural area dotted with bucolic small towns; most of which have had brushes with U.F.O.’s, Sasquatch, hauntings, or some unholy combination of them all. Starting with a brief overview of the location’s history, the film begins in earnest with the story of a crashed U.F.O. in Kecksburg County in the mid 1960’s, commented on by

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 9, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Howard Lovecraft & the Undersea Kingdom Brings Classic Horror Literature to a New Generation

Last year, Shout! Factory brought us Howard Lovecraft and the Frozen Kingdom, an off-kilter, yet charming blend of kid-vid and the writings of horror maestro H.P. Lovecraft that blended world devouring ancient gods and doe-eyed, cutesy character design in a flick that worked way better than it had any right to. Well, a year has passed, and ol’ SF have brought us a new installment in the franchise titled Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom…and I’m happy to say that much of the fun has been retained (hell, there have actually been some improvements), but all is not rainbows and puppies in R’lyeh… Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom continues the adventures of a young Howard Philips Lovecraft who is charged with protecting the realms of R’lyeh and it’s surrounding locales with a bit of the ol’ inherited family magic. While contending with that, he must rescue his parents who find themselves all proper kidnapped by the mad King Abdul

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 8, 2017
Horror Fuel

The Temple of Lilith is Ready for Your Wicked Worship!

I get sent plenty of ghoulishly groovy things (most of which I slap my award losing revoltin’ reviews upon), but what I’m about to lay on you today is a short film that finally answers a question I’ve had in my head for over a decade: “If a Suicide Girl wakes up in the woods, would anyone be there to form some sort of insane evil family?’ The answer yes…yes, they would. Click the ol’ video below to see what I mean: To say I’m totally in love with that sinister short is an understatement…and apparently it’s part of a bigger picture! Here’s the official word on what’s coming next; a longer short titled Sulphur for Leviathan : Sulphur for Leviathan revolves around a nun, who suddenly finds herself progressively fantasizing about things that shouldn’t be in her head, increasingly having to face her own doings of blasphemy, all leading up to something demonically dark and sinister. Portrayed in a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 7, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Spiritualist Won’t Conjure Up Much Spirited Fun.

Poor Laura; her nights are filled with a real plastic hassle of screaming, unending terror…night terrors to be precise (this probably not helped by the fact she lives in a creepy-as-balls mansion). Any ol’ way, L-Dawg is also dealing with the recent death of her mother who was nuttier than a goddamned fruit cake. Naturally, there are only two answers to what’s plaguing our heroine: her mother is haunting her like a MF’er, or Laura too has a bad case of beastly bats in her belfry. Regardless, a medium is called, a seance is performed, and Laura and her friends experience a violence laden experience. No refunds. Let’s start with what works with The Spiritualist, shall we? Well, it’s well acted, with Caroline Burns Cooke as the titular spiritualist being a real standout (as is the entire seance sequence). I also enjoyed the unconventional approach to parts of the narrative (the film almost seems like two films in one…and more

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 7, 2017
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: For Her… Shows the Horror of Relationships!

Jonathan and Elizabeth are a young couple in love, and everything is all red lingerie and fancy ass wine…but their are cracks beginning to show in the relationship; namely the fact that Jonathan believes Elizabeth is in the relationship simply for the comfort it provides and doesn’t really care about him, and the stress brought on by Elizabeth’s illness that brings with it a stunning case of the pukes. Enter Anne: A beautiful blonde ol’ J-Dawg meets in a local waterin’ hole (an as an aside, Jonathan is a good looking enough dude, but his drawing power with comely lasses boarders on the absurd…a.k.a. I’m jealous of a fictional character in a short film…also watching nothing but fright flicks may be starting to take it’s toll…but, I digress). So, Jon brings Anne home, they start getting into it heiß und schwer, and before you know it, we find out exactly why I’m reviewing a relationship drama on a horror site…there’s

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 6, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Death-Scort Service Part 2: The Naked Dead is a Flesh and Blood Drenched Orgy!

Look, I’ll be honest with you creeps, I have never seen (or even heard of) Death-Scort Service Part 1; but as is my way with everything, that don’t mean shit to me. I’m sure a fine, morally upstanding picture like Death-Scort Service Part 2: The Naked Dead will do your’s cruelly a solid (probably on my chest), and catch me right up to speed… …and wadda ya know, the film begins with a flashback to the conclusion of the first flick; courtesy of the final girl, Michelle (Krystal Pixie Adams) having a lil’ bubble bath flashback (as you do after such things). Anyway, long story short, hookers vs. a serial killer, Hookers 1 : Serial Killer 0. Well as fate would have it, a new killer rises to take the place of the last and a new batch of lusty ladies (who just want to save up enough scratch to have a home, sweet home to call their very own)

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 5, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Bonehill Road is a Howlin’ Good Creature Feature!

Bonehill Road tells the story of Emily and Eden, a mother/step-daughter duo who hit the road after Emily’s go-go gorilla of a husband goes blood simple and starts whippin’ Emily-ass six ways to Sunday (which I’m 100% positive he would blame on her being clumsy and accidentally walking into his fist six to seven hundred times). As our heroines do their Thelma and Louise they perform the one act that all victims of nerve shattering domestic abuse always seem to do; they nearly run down a werewolf in their economy sedan. Since said werewolf has the same personality as Emil’s hubby, he goes completely berserk, gathers up his puppy posse, and attempts to use the duo as chew toys, but they escape and find themselves at a house in the middle of nowhere…which is occupied by a complete psycho who just so happens to be a cannibal…for F’s sake can these ladies ever catch a break? With a madman inside,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 3, 2017
Horror Fuel

Short Film Reviews: Four Fearsome Fright Flicks From Andrew J.D. Robinson

Now for something completely F’n different…some rapid fire revoltin’ reviews of a quartet of short subject fright films! (All of the following were created by Andrew J.D. Robinson; the award winning filmmaker/founder of the 15 Second Horror Film Challenge) Let’s kick things off with: SIGHTINGS In Sightings two women sit in a car and reflect on the disappearance of their missing sister (who’s fate is no mystery given the structure of this film). During the course of the picture we learn the women’s memories and dreams of their sibling, as well as their extreme (and convincing) emotional distress. While the acting, aesthetic and make-up design is all rather impressive to say the least, out of all of the films reviewed in this piece this one was my least favorite…and I can’t quite put my finger on why. To me it seemed opening the film with the imagery Robinson did it cut some of the visceral punch of the story a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 2, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Flashburn is a Solid “End of Humanity” Sci-Fi Thriller

Flashburn concerns the misadventures of Wes, a dude that finds himself behind the wheel of a crashed pick-up truck located within the confines of a warehouse in a disease ravaged dystopian future. Ol’ Wes soon finds out he can not leave the structure, and that he has been brought here for a purpose; to devise a cure for the virus that is currently kicking humanity’s ass up and down the hall. As our yarn unspools Wes must contend with regaining his memory (he was a fancy-schmancy scientist type before becoming America’s favorite warehouse prisoner), finding a cure, discovering his ties to the virus, and dealing with the enigmatic ‘Lazarus’ who imprisoned him. I went into Flashburn expecting a low-budget thriller with some sci-fi trappings thrown on top (you know, the type of shit that seems to replicate by osmosis on SyFy channel), but I found myself pleasantly surprised. While the film may not have cost as much as Ye Olde

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 1, 2017

More from DanXIII

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: J.D.’s Revenge

J.D.’s Revenge begins with a mobster (named J.D. ‘natch) being eliminated in 1940’s New Orleans. Fast forward to the groovy-ass 1970’s and mild mannered student Issac is out on the town with his pals. The gang takes in a hypnotist act with ol’ Issac hopping on stage to volunteer…but instead of quitting smoking, or clucking like a chicken, our hero slowly starts to be possessed by the spirit of J.D. (amid headaches, slaughterhouse imagery, rough sex, and jaunty hat purchasings…and on a side note, his Doctor tells him to smoke some weed and relax…way to be forward thinking movie!). Soon Joltin’ J.D. is completely in command and he begins a murderous plan to even the score with Issac as his unwilling vessel! J.D.’s Revenge is a fun entry in both the blaxploitation and possession genres; it has a likable cast full of familiar faces, with Glynn Turman as Issac giving a great turn going from mild mannered everyman to sadistic

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 10, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: A Duo of Demonic Docs Bring Creepy Cryptids to Your Home!

It’s a rare occurrence when your’s cruelly is sent a documentary to review; but today I have two for ya (I feel so F’n fancy); Invasion on Chestnut Ridge and The Mothman of Point Pleasant; two deep dives into cryptids, creeps, and catastrophe from the fine fiends at Small Town Monsters! So, without further arcane adieu let’s dip our freaky feet into some good ol’ monstrous mayhem! Invasion on Chestnut Ridge concerns a series of incidents that were mostly unknown to me (and believe me, I am always pleased as poison punch to learn about new paranormal occurrences). Chestnut Ridge sits in southern Pennsylvania; a rural area dotted with bucolic small towns; most of which have had brushes with U.F.O.’s, Sasquatch, hauntings, or some unholy combination of them all. Starting with a brief overview of the location’s history, the film begins in earnest with the story of a crashed U.F.O. in Kecksburg County in the mid 1960’s, commented on by

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 9, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Howard Lovecraft & the Undersea Kingdom Brings Classic Horror Literature to a New Generation

Last year, Shout! Factory brought us Howard Lovecraft and the Frozen Kingdom, an off-kilter, yet charming blend of kid-vid and the writings of horror maestro H.P. Lovecraft that blended world devouring ancient gods and doe-eyed, cutesy character design in a flick that worked way better than it had any right to. Well, a year has passed, and ol’ SF have brought us a new installment in the franchise titled Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom…and I’m happy to say that much of the fun has been retained (hell, there have actually been some improvements), but all is not rainbows and puppies in R’lyeh… Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom continues the adventures of a young Howard Philips Lovecraft who is charged with protecting the realms of R’lyeh and it’s surrounding locales with a bit of the ol’ inherited family magic. While contending with that, he must rescue his parents who find themselves all proper kidnapped by the mad King Abdul

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 8, 2017
Horror Fuel

The Temple of Lilith is Ready for Your Wicked Worship!

I get sent plenty of ghoulishly groovy things (most of which I slap my award losing revoltin’ reviews upon), but what I’m about to lay on you today is a short film that finally answers a question I’ve had in my head for over a decade: “If a Suicide Girl wakes up in the woods, would anyone be there to form some sort of insane evil family?’ The answer yes…yes, they would. Click the ol’ video below to see what I mean: To say I’m totally in love with that sinister short is an understatement…and apparently it’s part of a bigger picture! Here’s the official word on what’s coming next; a longer short titled Sulphur for Leviathan : Sulphur for Leviathan revolves around a nun, who suddenly finds herself progressively fantasizing about things that shouldn’t be in her head, increasingly having to face her own doings of blasphemy, all leading up to something demonically dark and sinister. Portrayed in a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 7, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: The Spiritualist Won’t Conjure Up Much Spirited Fun.

Poor Laura; her nights are filled with a real plastic hassle of screaming, unending terror…night terrors to be precise (this probably not helped by the fact she lives in a creepy-as-balls mansion). Any ol’ way, L-Dawg is also dealing with the recent death of her mother who was nuttier than a goddamned fruit cake. Naturally, there are only two answers to what’s plaguing our heroine: her mother is haunting her like a MF’er, or Laura too has a bad case of beastly bats in her belfry. Regardless, a medium is called, a seance is performed, and Laura and her friends experience a violence laden experience. No refunds. Let’s start with what works with The Spiritualist, shall we? Well, it’s well acted, with Caroline Burns Cooke as the titular spiritualist being a real standout (as is the entire seance sequence). I also enjoyed the unconventional approach to parts of the narrative (the film almost seems like two films in one…and more

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 7, 2017
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: For Her… Shows the Horror of Relationships!

Jonathan and Elizabeth are a young couple in love, and everything is all red lingerie and fancy ass wine…but their are cracks beginning to show in the relationship; namely the fact that Jonathan believes Elizabeth is in the relationship simply for the comfort it provides and doesn’t really care about him, and the stress brought on by Elizabeth’s illness that brings with it a stunning case of the pukes. Enter Anne: A beautiful blonde ol’ J-Dawg meets in a local waterin’ hole (an as an aside, Jonathan is a good looking enough dude, but his drawing power with comely lasses boarders on the absurd…a.k.a. I’m jealous of a fictional character in a short film…also watching nothing but fright flicks may be starting to take it’s toll…but, I digress). So, Jon brings Anne home, they start getting into it heiß und schwer, and before you know it, we find out exactly why I’m reviewing a relationship drama on a horror site…there’s

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 6, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Death-Scort Service Part 2: The Naked Dead is a Flesh and Blood Drenched Orgy!

Look, I’ll be honest with you creeps, I have never seen (or even heard of) Death-Scort Service Part 1; but as is my way with everything, that don’t mean shit to me. I’m sure a fine, morally upstanding picture like Death-Scort Service Part 2: The Naked Dead will do your’s cruelly a solid (probably on my chest), and catch me right up to speed… …and wadda ya know, the film begins with a flashback to the conclusion of the first flick; courtesy of the final girl, Michelle (Krystal Pixie Adams) having a lil’ bubble bath flashback (as you do after such things). Anyway, long story short, hookers vs. a serial killer, Hookers 1 : Serial Killer 0. Well as fate would have it, a new killer rises to take the place of the last and a new batch of lusty ladies (who just want to save up enough scratch to have a home, sweet home to call their very own)

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 5, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Bonehill Road is a Howlin’ Good Creature Feature!

Bonehill Road tells the story of Emily and Eden, a mother/step-daughter duo who hit the road after Emily’s go-go gorilla of a husband goes blood simple and starts whippin’ Emily-ass six ways to Sunday (which I’m 100% positive he would blame on her being clumsy and accidentally walking into his fist six to seven hundred times). As our heroines do their Thelma and Louise they perform the one act that all victims of nerve shattering domestic abuse always seem to do; they nearly run down a werewolf in their economy sedan. Since said werewolf has the same personality as Emil’s hubby, he goes completely berserk, gathers up his puppy posse, and attempts to use the duo as chew toys, but they escape and find themselves at a house in the middle of nowhere…which is occupied by a complete psycho who just so happens to be a cannibal…for F’s sake can these ladies ever catch a break? With a madman inside,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 3, 2017
Horror Fuel

Short Film Reviews: Four Fearsome Fright Flicks From Andrew J.D. Robinson

Now for something completely F’n different…some rapid fire revoltin’ reviews of a quartet of short subject fright films! (All of the following were created by Andrew J.D. Robinson; the award winning filmmaker/founder of the 15 Second Horror Film Challenge) Let’s kick things off with: SIGHTINGS In Sightings two women sit in a car and reflect on the disappearance of their missing sister (who’s fate is no mystery given the structure of this film). During the course of the picture we learn the women’s memories and dreams of their sibling, as well as their extreme (and convincing) emotional distress. While the acting, aesthetic and make-up design is all rather impressive to say the least, out of all of the films reviewed in this piece this one was my least favorite…and I can’t quite put my finger on why. To me it seemed opening the film with the imagery Robinson did it cut some of the visceral punch of the story a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 2, 2017
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Flashburn is a Solid “End of Humanity” Sci-Fi Thriller

Flashburn concerns the misadventures of Wes, a dude that finds himself behind the wheel of a crashed pick-up truck located within the confines of a warehouse in a disease ravaged dystopian future. Ol’ Wes soon finds out he can not leave the structure, and that he has been brought here for a purpose; to devise a cure for the virus that is currently kicking humanity’s ass up and down the hall. As our yarn unspools Wes must contend with regaining his memory (he was a fancy-schmancy scientist type before becoming America’s favorite warehouse prisoner), finding a cure, discovering his ties to the virus, and dealing with the enigmatic ‘Lazarus’ who imprisoned him. I went into Flashburn expecting a low-budget thriller with some sci-fi trappings thrown on top (you know, the type of shit that seems to replicate by osmosis on SyFy channel), but I found myself pleasantly surprised. While the film may not have cost as much as Ye Olde

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 1, 2017
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