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Blu-ray Review: Beyond Darkness (1990)

After a doozy of an opening sequence where a priest, Father George (David Brandon) hears a death row confession from a child murdering, bald headed follower of an evil deity known as Ameth as she’s led away to the electric chair followed by the ghosts of her victims, we get into the monstrous meat and putrid potatoes of Beyond Darkness. A priest, Peter (Gene LeBrock… the community theater Christopher Reeve with just a dash of Tom Cruise for funsies), and his family; wife Annie (Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan‘s Barbara Bingham), son Martin (that hospitality pissing mother fucker from Troll 2 himself, Michael Paul Stephenson), and their daughter Carole (Theresa Walker), a fart lovin’ girl that has a desire to dry her hair, but can’t remember the name of a hair dryer… you know what, Carole may have some sort of juvenile Alzheimer’s as she also can’t find her mouth in the dark… move into a house

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 18, 2021

Blu-ray Review: Retribution (1987)

Suicidal artist George Miller (Dennis Lipscomb, who gives the frowniest performance since Mark Frost in Brian Yuzna’s Faust: Love of the Damned) takes a swan dive off a tall building, but after a brief stay-over in The Who’s laser-light tunnel (previously utilized for fucking by Frank Langella in John Badham’s 1979 adaptation of that grand-pappy of all vampire whoppers, Dracula)… which is populated by a screaming, floating zombie head… our hero is revived and sent to stay in an institution. Once there he gets wellish (minus those nightmares where he’s a murderous lunatic) and soon returns to his apartment in the same shitty building he jumped off when this whole debacle began! So about those “nightmares”… George keeps getting involved with random people… and he makes them kill themselves with his newly-acquired glow-y green eyes and evil-ass voice… in-between attending a “welcome home” party in his honor where hookers and little people in fireman’s helmets cavort to records that were

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 18, 2021

Short Film Review: Button Man (2021)

Two sisters, Lydia (Melissa Claire) and Jade (Stephanie Panozzo) by name, head out into the wicked woods ror a lil’ of that sweet ass R&R. It takes about one hot second for these ladies to realize they are up to their elbows in the deepest of shit as the forest is fully stocked with human remains and terrible traps a-plenty… not to mention the eponymous Button Man (Don Bridges); a legendary psycho made flesh who marks his potential prey by leaving buttons on their eyes. Seriously, does anything good ever happen in the fuckin’ woods? The first thing you’ll notice about ol’ Button Man is that the cinematography is tight n’ outta sight… unless you are blind… wait, how are you reading this shit if you’re blind… Anyway, this flick looks like a million bucks thanks to cinematographers Jamie ‘Pees’ Lehman (I have no idea how this fella got that nickname, but I’m sure it’s a tale that wouldn’t leave

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 15, 2021

Steelbook Review: “Rick And Morty: The Complete Fifth Season”

The fifth season of Adult Swim’s two-time Emmy Award-winning series “Rick and Morty” is officially out on Blu-ray and Steelbook! And I’m here to tell you what I think about it. Rick and Morty: The Complete Fifth Season is packed with insane action and hilarity, featuring everything from trips to outer space to Morty dating a superhero, to giant sperm, there’s not a moment of boredom to be had. The cover of the metallic steelbook features the family aboard Rick’s spacecraft, a giant green hologram of Rick towering behind them against a red sky. Inside you will find a disc featuring all 10 episodes, one-hour episodes plus the bonus features. You will also discover the digital code and an insert with all of the episodes and special features listed (you can also find those listed here). Season 5 kicks off with Rick facing his nemesis, an ocean-dwelling freak with a libido that’s out of this world. Next, the family sets

Continue reading →
Kelli Marchman McNeely
Dec 12, 2021

Blu-ray Review: Creepshow Season Two

Shudder, AMC’s streaming service for horror and thrillers continues to kill it with original movies and shows including their hit anthology series “Creepshow” whose second season is heading to Blu-ray and DVD this December. Season two takes horror to a whole new level with episodes starring some of the biggest names in the genre including Ted Raimi (“Buddy Thunderstruck”, “Ash vs Evil Dead”), Ali Larter (“House of Haunted Hill”), Josh McDermitt (“The Walking Dead”), Ashley Laurence from the Hellraiser franchise, Keifer Sutherland of The Lost Boys. and so many more. Taking a look at the Blu-ray cover, by artists Sanjulián and Rich Hilliard, we see “Creepshow’s” iconic ghoul along with several of the monsters that make an appearance this season. This season we get five terror-filled episodes featuring everything from classic monsters to deadites, with each episode featuring two twisted tales. As always, horror is front and center in the series along with laugh-inducing escapades, and buckets of gore, but

Continue reading →
Kelli Marchman McNeely
Dec 3, 2021

Blu-ray Review: The Collingswood Story (2002)

Rebecca (Stephanie Dees) is more than anxious to get the hell out of dodge and take up residence in a new off campus apartment house many states away from her hometown`. Thankfully she can still keep in touch with her Juggalo townie potential love interest Johnny (Johnny Burton) via a webcam based video messaging service (more on that in a bit). Speaking of Johnny, that hombre does not trust Rebecca a single bit… thanks in part to the advice of his perpetually wasted-off-his-ass buddy Billy (Grant Edmonds and his balls), so he decides to hire an online psychic, Madam Vera (Diane Behrens) to hopefully straighten things out (an amateur Don Ho and the American antecedent to Alan Moore are also involved). Of course this all goes completely to shit, as the psychic reveals that Rebecca has just moved to the most evil place in all of New Jersey… and that’s sayin’ somethin’… Collingswood (a mere “G” away from a Dan

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 28, 2021

Blu-ray Review: 1974: La posesión de Altair (2016)

Newlyweds Manuel (Rolando Breme), a camera buff, and school teacher Altair (Diana Bovio) are just two crazy kids who are high on life, a life that couldn’t be a more typical blend of birthday parties, puppies, and boudoir role-play. Of course that shit begins to go south rather quickly as odd occurrences begin happening such as birds turning into ape-shit cannibals (much more than they normally already are), phone calls that only contain strange noises, and bad dreams with onset nosebleeds and sleepwalking (never a good sign in our beloved horror biz). Oh, about those “dreams”… well, they begin to tell Altair to do things… admittedly seemingly random tasks like painting bricks that arrived mysteriously one day out of the blue… and soon our heroine is acting 100% fuckin’ Grade-A bizarre… or is she? A little detective work from Manuel, along with his pal Callahan (Guillermo Callahan) reveal a troubled past, but are those events at all responsible for the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 27, 2021

Blu-ray Review: Elvira’s Haunted Hills (2001)

After an uproarious intro from the Mistress of the Dark herself, we dive right into the meat and potatoes (and what potatoes they are) of Elvira’s Haunted Hills; her second frightful feature film (following 1988’s Elvira: Mistress of the Dark) now available on Blu-ray thanks to those delicious devils o’er at Scream Factory! Elvira (Cassandra Peterson) and her maidservant/comedic foil Zou Zou (played to absolute perfection by Mary Jo Smith) are on their way to Paris (where our titular heroine can perform in a can-can revue) via the Carpathian mountains in the year 1851. After a disagreement with an innkeeper our heroes et off on foot where they are soon picked up by a carriage occupied by Dr, Bradley Bradley (Scott Atkinson in the Price role) who is en route to a nearby castle occupied by the intense-as-fuck Lady Ema Hellsubus (Mary Scheer) and her sound-adverse husband Lord Vladimir Hellsubus (Rocky Horror Picture Show mastermind Richard O’ Brien in the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 27, 2021

Blu-ray Release: Dark Shadows and Beyond: the Jonathan Frid Story (2021)

You lot know I love me some Dark Shadows; Dan Curtis’ ground-breaking 1960’s soap opera filled to the brim with Gothic atmosphere, witches, werewolves, and of course vampires, and it’s with that last denizen of the creature feature that the series featured it’s most enduring icon, the undead Lord of Collinwood, Barnabas Collins… played by to suave perfection by Jonathan Frid… speaking of which… Dark Shadows and Beyond: the Jonathan Frid Story, the new Blu-ray documentary release from MPI Pictures will either delight you with tales of showbiz and theater, or aggravate you if you want to know the man himself. What this film does right is explores in great detail the entire breadth of Frid’s work, from stage, to television, to movies, and back again; the man was an impressive actor with dozens of memorable performances under his belt before he even slipped in those enamel canines and set about putting the bite on Collinsport, Maine. Of course much

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 27, 2021

Blu-ray Review: The Gestapo’s Last Orgy (1977)

With the holiday’s fast approaching at the time of this writing, I’m sure there is nothing that brings more cheer than Cesare Canevari’s 1977 exercise in poor taste; The Gestapo’s Last Orgy… and by “cheer” I mean images you’ll need to scrub your eyeballs with a wire brush to unsee… Lise (Daniela Poggi) returns to the place of her internment after the close of world War II, and begins to relive her terrifying misadventures in a concentration camp utilized as a bordello by the most Italian German officers you are ever likely to lay eerie eyeballs upon. So what sorts of monstrous memories are revisited by our heroine? Well, after a cold, sterile gyno exam, the pick of the prisoners are given to the horny as hell ranks where the soldiers are more than ready to do the deed after watching a preposterous series of slides (featuring a muscle bound Hitler having anal with a woman eating a bucket of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 25, 2021

More from #review

Blu-ray Review: Beyond Darkness (1990)

After a doozy of an opening sequence where a priest, Father George (David Brandon) hears a death row confession from a child murdering, bald headed follower of an evil deity known as Ameth as she’s led away to the electric chair followed by the ghosts of her victims, we get into the monstrous meat and putrid potatoes of Beyond Darkness. A priest, Peter (Gene LeBrock… the community theater Christopher Reeve with just a dash of Tom Cruise for funsies), and his family; wife Annie (Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan‘s Barbara Bingham), son Martin (that hospitality pissing mother fucker from Troll 2 himself, Michael Paul Stephenson), and their daughter Carole (Theresa Walker), a fart lovin’ girl that has a desire to dry her hair, but can’t remember the name of a hair dryer… you know what, Carole may have some sort of juvenile Alzheimer’s as she also can’t find her mouth in the dark… move into a house

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 18, 2021

Blu-ray Review: Retribution (1987)

Suicidal artist George Miller (Dennis Lipscomb, who gives the frowniest performance since Mark Frost in Brian Yuzna’s Faust: Love of the Damned) takes a swan dive off a tall building, but after a brief stay-over in The Who’s laser-light tunnel (previously utilized for fucking by Frank Langella in John Badham’s 1979 adaptation of that grand-pappy of all vampire whoppers, Dracula)… which is populated by a screaming, floating zombie head… our hero is revived and sent to stay in an institution. Once there he gets wellish (minus those nightmares where he’s a murderous lunatic) and soon returns to his apartment in the same shitty building he jumped off when this whole debacle began! So about those “nightmares”… George keeps getting involved with random people… and he makes them kill themselves with his newly-acquired glow-y green eyes and evil-ass voice… in-between attending a “welcome home” party in his honor where hookers and little people in fireman’s helmets cavort to records that were

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 18, 2021

Short Film Review: Button Man (2021)

Two sisters, Lydia (Melissa Claire) and Jade (Stephanie Panozzo) by name, head out into the wicked woods ror a lil’ of that sweet ass R&R. It takes about one hot second for these ladies to realize they are up to their elbows in the deepest of shit as the forest is fully stocked with human remains and terrible traps a-plenty… not to mention the eponymous Button Man (Don Bridges); a legendary psycho made flesh who marks his potential prey by leaving buttons on their eyes. Seriously, does anything good ever happen in the fuckin’ woods? The first thing you’ll notice about ol’ Button Man is that the cinematography is tight n’ outta sight… unless you are blind… wait, how are you reading this shit if you’re blind… Anyway, this flick looks like a million bucks thanks to cinematographers Jamie ‘Pees’ Lehman (I have no idea how this fella got that nickname, but I’m sure it’s a tale that wouldn’t leave

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 15, 2021

Steelbook Review: “Rick And Morty: The Complete Fifth Season”

The fifth season of Adult Swim’s two-time Emmy Award-winning series “Rick and Morty” is officially out on Blu-ray and Steelbook! And I’m here to tell you what I think about it. Rick and Morty: The Complete Fifth Season is packed with insane action and hilarity, featuring everything from trips to outer space to Morty dating a superhero, to giant sperm, there’s not a moment of boredom to be had. The cover of the metallic steelbook features the family aboard Rick’s spacecraft, a giant green hologram of Rick towering behind them against a red sky. Inside you will find a disc featuring all 10 episodes, one-hour episodes plus the bonus features. You will also discover the digital code and an insert with all of the episodes and special features listed (you can also find those listed here). Season 5 kicks off with Rick facing his nemesis, an ocean-dwelling freak with a libido that’s out of this world. Next, the family sets

Continue reading →
Kelli Marchman McNeely
Dec 12, 2021

Blu-ray Review: Creepshow Season Two

Shudder, AMC’s streaming service for horror and thrillers continues to kill it with original movies and shows including their hit anthology series “Creepshow” whose second season is heading to Blu-ray and DVD this December. Season two takes horror to a whole new level with episodes starring some of the biggest names in the genre including Ted Raimi (“Buddy Thunderstruck”, “Ash vs Evil Dead”), Ali Larter (“House of Haunted Hill”), Josh McDermitt (“The Walking Dead”), Ashley Laurence from the Hellraiser franchise, Keifer Sutherland of The Lost Boys. and so many more. Taking a look at the Blu-ray cover, by artists Sanjulián and Rich Hilliard, we see “Creepshow’s” iconic ghoul along with several of the monsters that make an appearance this season. This season we get five terror-filled episodes featuring everything from classic monsters to deadites, with each episode featuring two twisted tales. As always, horror is front and center in the series along with laugh-inducing escapades, and buckets of gore, but

Continue reading →
Kelli Marchman McNeely
Dec 3, 2021

Blu-ray Review: The Collingswood Story (2002)

Rebecca (Stephanie Dees) is more than anxious to get the hell out of dodge and take up residence in a new off campus apartment house many states away from her hometown`. Thankfully she can still keep in touch with her Juggalo townie potential love interest Johnny (Johnny Burton) via a webcam based video messaging service (more on that in a bit). Speaking of Johnny, that hombre does not trust Rebecca a single bit… thanks in part to the advice of his perpetually wasted-off-his-ass buddy Billy (Grant Edmonds and his balls), so he decides to hire an online psychic, Madam Vera (Diane Behrens) to hopefully straighten things out (an amateur Don Ho and the American antecedent to Alan Moore are also involved). Of course this all goes completely to shit, as the psychic reveals that Rebecca has just moved to the most evil place in all of New Jersey… and that’s sayin’ somethin’… Collingswood (a mere “G” away from a Dan

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 28, 2021

Blu-ray Review: 1974: La posesión de Altair (2016)

Newlyweds Manuel (Rolando Breme), a camera buff, and school teacher Altair (Diana Bovio) are just two crazy kids who are high on life, a life that couldn’t be a more typical blend of birthday parties, puppies, and boudoir role-play. Of course that shit begins to go south rather quickly as odd occurrences begin happening such as birds turning into ape-shit cannibals (much more than they normally already are), phone calls that only contain strange noises, and bad dreams with onset nosebleeds and sleepwalking (never a good sign in our beloved horror biz). Oh, about those “dreams”… well, they begin to tell Altair to do things… admittedly seemingly random tasks like painting bricks that arrived mysteriously one day out of the blue… and soon our heroine is acting 100% fuckin’ Grade-A bizarre… or is she? A little detective work from Manuel, along with his pal Callahan (Guillermo Callahan) reveal a troubled past, but are those events at all responsible for the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 27, 2021

Blu-ray Review: Elvira’s Haunted Hills (2001)

After an uproarious intro from the Mistress of the Dark herself, we dive right into the meat and potatoes (and what potatoes they are) of Elvira’s Haunted Hills; her second frightful feature film (following 1988’s Elvira: Mistress of the Dark) now available on Blu-ray thanks to those delicious devils o’er at Scream Factory! Elvira (Cassandra Peterson) and her maidservant/comedic foil Zou Zou (played to absolute perfection by Mary Jo Smith) are on their way to Paris (where our titular heroine can perform in a can-can revue) via the Carpathian mountains in the year 1851. After a disagreement with an innkeeper our heroes et off on foot where they are soon picked up by a carriage occupied by Dr, Bradley Bradley (Scott Atkinson in the Price role) who is en route to a nearby castle occupied by the intense-as-fuck Lady Ema Hellsubus (Mary Scheer) and her sound-adverse husband Lord Vladimir Hellsubus (Rocky Horror Picture Show mastermind Richard O’ Brien in the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 27, 2021

Blu-ray Release: Dark Shadows and Beyond: the Jonathan Frid Story (2021)

You lot know I love me some Dark Shadows; Dan Curtis’ ground-breaking 1960’s soap opera filled to the brim with Gothic atmosphere, witches, werewolves, and of course vampires, and it’s with that last denizen of the creature feature that the series featured it’s most enduring icon, the undead Lord of Collinwood, Barnabas Collins… played by to suave perfection by Jonathan Frid… speaking of which… Dark Shadows and Beyond: the Jonathan Frid Story, the new Blu-ray documentary release from MPI Pictures will either delight you with tales of showbiz and theater, or aggravate you if you want to know the man himself. What this film does right is explores in great detail the entire breadth of Frid’s work, from stage, to television, to movies, and back again; the man was an impressive actor with dozens of memorable performances under his belt before he even slipped in those enamel canines and set about putting the bite on Collinsport, Maine. Of course much

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 27, 2021

Blu-ray Review: The Gestapo’s Last Orgy (1977)

With the holiday’s fast approaching at the time of this writing, I’m sure there is nothing that brings more cheer than Cesare Canevari’s 1977 exercise in poor taste; The Gestapo’s Last Orgy… and by “cheer” I mean images you’ll need to scrub your eyeballs with a wire brush to unsee… Lise (Daniela Poggi) returns to the place of her internment after the close of world War II, and begins to relive her terrifying misadventures in a concentration camp utilized as a bordello by the most Italian German officers you are ever likely to lay eerie eyeballs upon. So what sorts of monstrous memories are revisited by our heroine? Well, after a cold, sterile gyno exam, the pick of the prisoners are given to the horny as hell ranks where the soldiers are more than ready to do the deed after watching a preposterous series of slides (featuring a muscle bound Hitler having anal with a woman eating a bucket of

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 25, 2021
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