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exploitation

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Blu-ray Review: Strike Commando 2 (1988)

Everyone’s favorite Rambo surrogate, Ransom, is back on the scene in Bruno Mattei’s 1988 follow-up to his batshit action pic Strike Commando (which I reviewed right here), the reasonably titled Strike Commando 2! While Ransom may be back, Reb Brown sure as shit isn’t… so this time we follow The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak’s Brent Huff (who looks more like Solid Snake than Rambo once kitted up) on a mission to rescue Maj. Vic Jenkins (Richard Harris… yeah, the actual one from Camelot and the first couple of Harry Potter Pictures… not to mention dozens upon dozens of other memorable performances), his old squad leader from ‘Nam from a group of ninja warriors with KGB ties (there’s heroin smuggling mixed up in this hot mess as well)… this is the most fucking ’80s plot I have ever witnessed… Anyway, the kidnappers are demanding a cool ten million in diamonds, so the CIA sends in

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DanXIII

Jul 5, 2021

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Strike Commando (1986)

You know who was shit-hot in the 1980’s? John mother fuckin’ Rambo… we all loved his PTSD-infused spots of rough n’ tumble fun n’ games (mostly involving murdering large swaths of human beings post his first outing in 1982’s First Blood). You know who else loved his ass? The fucking creative team behind Troll 2, and my personal fav, Uncle Bruno Mattei… How do I know this? Because I just watched the most Rambo thing ever created that doesn’t have jack-shit to do with Sly; 1986’s Strike Commando, and those are the cats that made it! Ransom (Jesus, they aren’t even trying to hide it… anyway, he’s played by Yor: The Hunter From the Future himself, Reb Brown) is the sole survivor of a botched mission in ‘Nam while the war was raging hot n’ heavy. Soon Ransom finds himself in the savior-biz as he ends up in a small village, who’s residents include the missionary Le Due (Luciano Pigozzi,

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DanXIII

Jul 4, 2021

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Castle of the Creeping Flesh (1968)

Ever-horny Baron Brack (Michel Lemoine), he of the atrocious dubbing and wild hootenannies, leads a group of revelers to the ornate, though dilapidated, home of Count Graf Saxon (Howard Vernon) to continue the party-hardy fracas. What does Saxon think of the swingin’ sumbitches who have invited themselves in? He seems to give not a single fuck… rather, he does the Chatty Cathy bag and fills the gang in on his family history and the fate of his daughter who was recently (like an hour ago) raped and killed in the nearby woods. I’m sure he has no plans for all of the sexy ladies that have fallen into his lap… Naturally he does have a plan… a batshit crazy one too, involving resurrecting his daughter with all of his new found female flesh! Oh, and a bear is involved as is so often the case… If Castle of the Creeping Flesh is anything it’s atmospheric. The sets utilized to bring

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DanXIII

Feb 21, 2021

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Shogun’s Joy of Torture (1968)

Presented as an anthology piece, 1968’s Shogun’s Joy of Torture is comprised of three torture tales that I’ll dive into directly! Story one concerns Shinza; a working man who takes a log to the head, and thanks to this being ye olden days where health insurance was as non-existent, winds up shit out of luck and unable to get that shit looked at properly. Enter: Shinza’s sis Mitsu, a loverly lass who tries to appeal to Shinza’s boss, Mino, for a lil’ financial assistance and gets raped for her trouble. As if that didn’t put us square in the “family fun zone”, Shinza is also hot n’ horny for his sister (a decidedly different “family fun zone”), which that ass-hat Mino finds out about and begins a game to make Mitsu eternally his. Okay, story numero deuce should be a bit more cheery… Young nun Reiho arrives at a convent located right next door to a monastery… seriously, what’s the

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DanXIII

Feb 21, 2021

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: He Came from the Swamp: The William Grefé Collection (1966 – 1977)

Exploding from the Everglades of Florida comes William Grefé; a dude that has directed an impressive array of schlock… but alas schlock I’ve never set my eerie eyeballs on. That’s something I aim to fix right quick… and what better way to do it than with the new Blu-ray collection from Arrow Video (along with MVD Entertainment); He Came from the Swamp: The William Grefé Collection! Disc one begins with the creature feature Sting of Death (1966), and what a doozy this putrid picture is my cats n’ creeps! College gal Karen (Valerie Hawkins) spends her vacay visiting her marine biologist father (Jack Nagle, who possesses a seemingly magic headwound that grows and shrinks throughout the picture) in his remote island laboratory cum home deep in the Florida Everglades, along with her cadre of comely female friends. Everything is absolutely keen as beers are downed and everyone gets their collective rocks off doing the hot new dance craze “The Jellyfish”,

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DanXIII

Feb 7, 2021

Reviews

Blu-ray Review: The Mary Millington Movie Collection (1977 – 2015)

Mary Millington, the saucy queen of England’s swingin’ sexploitation (hardcore and otherwise) scene of the late ’70s/early ‘8os, set hearts a-flutter… and the crotch of men’s pants a-tightening… lived a mere 33 years, but her legacy continues to flourish… which brings us to the latest Blu-ray release from Arrow Video (along with MVD Entertainment); The Mary Millington Movie Collection! The Collection contains five main features; Come Play with Me (1977), The Playbirds (1978), Confessions from the David Galaxy Affair (1979), Queen of the Blues (1979), Mary Millington’s True Blue Confessions (1980), as well scads of extras, and the documentary Respectable – The Mary Millington Story (2015). Come Play with Me concerns two codgers (Alfie Bass and George Harrison Marks… the latter of which wrote, produced, and directed the picture), forgers by trade, who decide to lay low at a health facility… a facility packed to the brim with horny nurses! While not the star per se, Millington definitely stands out

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DanXIII

Jan 31, 2021

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Burst City (1982)

The plot, as very, very loose as it is to Gakuryû Ishii’s (aka Sogo Ishii) Burst City goes kinda/sorta as follows: In a dystopian Japan, gangs of punk rockers put on large concerts (conveyed via music video style vignettes), fight each other for stage time, and form their own dominant, completely out-of-control culture. This of course goes over like a fart in church to the local gangsters who plan on making the city, or more properly the land it sits on, their own. Rioting, rock, racing, and hard fucking (it’s not an “R” word, but it’s in there) ensue! Oh, and before I forget there are also a draconian police force (the Battle Police), a work force comprised of violent heavily armored Road Warrior-style bastards (some mutated, all insane), and plenty of piss n’ puke! Unconcerned with traditional narrative structure, Ishii throws as much light, sound, movement and pure adrenaline on screen as humanly possible… and when the film does

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DanXIII

Dec 1, 2020

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Jess Franco’s Shining Sex (1977)

Shining Sex begins the only way it could; with a whistling Lina Romay dabbin’ at a photo of a dude with his schlong out with an eye shadow brush. Well, turns out Romay… or rather her character Cynthia is an exotic dancer that performs some sort of grease and gold plastered interpretive dance; the eponymous Shining Sex… a heady combo of pubic area razor burn, baffling close-ups, and shag carpeting that is guaranteed to have the audience scratching their heads as well as their crotches. After that showstopper, Cynthia is whisked away to the plush roof-top penthouse of Alpha (Evelyne Scott), where she immediately begins having sex with the lady of the manor… oh, and in a story ripped from today’s headlines; Alpha is an alien from another dimension with telepathic abilities, as one does. So what is Alpha up to? Mostly sitting around with her naked Lou Reed lookin’ man-servant, Andros (Raymond Hardy)… oh, and weaponizing our heroine’s vagina

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DanXIII

Aug 21, 2020

DocumentariesMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield (1968)

Jayne Mansfield, apparently quite the international jet-setter, is kind enough to take us along on her last tour around the globe. Make sure you take your Dramamine as I suspect this is going to be a bumpy-ass ride… We start off in Rome, where Jayne just putzes around nearly deserted streets (in black and white footage… remember this)… but c’mon, Jayne is a big star, they aren’t really selling it… oh, wait… thankfully stock footage of countless people looking at… something… has been spliced in (via color footage). Ciao Bella Mrs. Mansfield… After more stock footage, some people eventually show up and Jayne gets her ass pinched (which may be more stock footage… but definitely involves a look-alike) in the middle of the afternoon, watches some ladies take their clothes off, fills us in on the games of the coliseums (via scenes from an old Hercules picture and a rando soccer game), fantasizes about dragons and ancient orgies (thankfully not

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DanXIII

Jul 12, 2020

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: White Fire (1984)

White Fire, or as I like to call it “What in the Fuck?!!“, is the tale of smart-ass brother and sister duo Bo (The Exterminator himself Robert Ginty) and Ingrid (Belinda Mayne)… and what a life they’ve had; to wit: They’ve seen their parents killed before their eyes thanks to some para-military thugs, become employees in a diamond mine who’s offices and administrative staff like they just tumbled out of the TV show V, and started a side-hustle as diamond thieves (beleaguered by Turkish criminals as is so often the case nowhere ever). Anyway, that last plot point only becomes more ludicrous when our heroes are privy to the discovery of the legendary white fire diamond, a preposterously sized gem that is so shit-hot it burns the flesh of any dumb ass who touches it… and after tragedy and a bar fight featuring roughly 4,567 mustaches, Bo sets out to pinch that rock pronto! Speaking of mustaches, Fred “The Hammer”

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DanXIII

Jun 3, 2020

exploitation

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