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Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Hercules and the Captive Women (1961)

Affable, nonchalant, and totally sleepy-AF Hercules (Reg Park, in his debut in the role) sets sail (along with his son Hylas… who looks to be the same age as our star, and Timoteo the comedy-relief dwarf… who at the least is considerably shorter than our star) and to find out why the skies of Greece are occasionally redder than a baboon’s ass. One nasty storm later, and our heroes find themselves on an island where women are fused with stone walls, and within seconds Hercules has to tangle with a snake, a lion, a vulture, and a lizard man… like every other Tuesday. Anyway, Herc soon finds himself at the bee-hived mercy of Antinea the Queen of Atlantis (Fay Spain) who is making a race of eyebrow-less Aryan super-men thanks to a magic rock (which contains the blood of Uranus, which will undoubtedly prove to be a real pain in the ass)… do you people reading these things ever stop

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DanXIII
May 9, 2021
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: EEGAH (1962)

All “teenager” Roxy Miller (Marilyn Manning who appears to be pushing thirty) wanted was to get her ass to a local shindig… too bad she almost hits Eegah (Richard Kiel, best known as Jaws from the James Bond series), a gigantic mother fuckin’ caveman, with her car… which is more common than one would assume. I mean, I would think the number of colossal caveman related auto accidents would hover around a solid zero, yet here we are… Foxy Roxy informs her boyfriend, pompadour maestro/dune buggy enthusiast Tom Nelson (Arch Hall Jr., who soon performs his number one shit single Vicki) and her pulp-author pappy Robert Miller (Arch Hall Sr., who also directed and came up with the story for this here terror tale) about ol’ Captain Caveman, which spurns Bob to go looking for that sumbitch in his whirly-bird… but he never returns from the trip. Tom shows concern the only way he can; by warbblin’ another standard substandard

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DanXIII
Nov 25, 2019

More from MST3K

Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Hercules and the Captive Women (1961)

Affable, nonchalant, and totally sleepy-AF Hercules (Reg Park, in his debut in the role) sets sail (along with his son Hylas… who looks to be the same age as our star, and Timoteo the comedy-relief dwarf… who at the least is considerably shorter than our star) and to find out why the skies of Greece are occasionally redder than a baboon’s ass. One nasty storm later, and our heroes find themselves on an island where women are fused with stone walls, and within seconds Hercules has to tangle with a snake, a lion, a vulture, and a lizard man… like every other Tuesday. Anyway, Herc soon finds himself at the bee-hived mercy of Antinea the Queen of Atlantis (Fay Spain) who is making a race of eyebrow-less Aryan super-men thanks to a magic rock (which contains the blood of Uranus, which will undoubtedly prove to be a real pain in the ass)… do you people reading these things ever stop

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 9, 2021
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: EEGAH (1962)

All “teenager” Roxy Miller (Marilyn Manning who appears to be pushing thirty) wanted was to get her ass to a local shindig… too bad she almost hits Eegah (Richard Kiel, best known as Jaws from the James Bond series), a gigantic mother fuckin’ caveman, with her car… which is more common than one would assume. I mean, I would think the number of colossal caveman related auto accidents would hover around a solid zero, yet here we are… Foxy Roxy informs her boyfriend, pompadour maestro/dune buggy enthusiast Tom Nelson (Arch Hall Jr., who soon performs his number one shit single Vicki) and her pulp-author pappy Robert Miller (Arch Hall Sr., who also directed and came up with the story for this here terror tale) about ol’ Captain Caveman, which spurns Bob to go looking for that sumbitch in his whirly-bird… but he never returns from the trip. Tom shows concern the only way he can; by warbblin’ another standard substandard

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 25, 2019