Movie Review: Aquaslash (2019)
Man, the student body of Valley Hill High have it made, what with throwin’ a bash at Wet Valley, a nearby water park. Sure the park is way past it’s prime; but it still manages to serve as a spot where water slides and coke (snorted off a girl’s rockin’ rack no less) can be enjoyed in equal measure! Of course there’s a bit more to the plot including a love triangle involvin’ Tommy (Paul Zinno), Kim (Lanisa Dawn) and Josh (Nicolas Fontaine)… who’s pappy just so happens to be gettin’ horizontal with the wife of the owner of Wet Valley. Oh, there’s also a maniac puttin’ the murder biz on our hapless heroes via sabotaging the slides and turning them into more of a death trap than they were to begin with… See how it took me a long-ass time to get to the slasher shit? Well, buckle up because Aquaslash takes longer to get where it’s going than
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