TagChristopher George
3 stories
MoviesReviews
That slap-happy duo of lovers Christopher George and Lynda Day George (Pieces, Grizzly) are lighting up the silver screen once again in 1983’s Mortuary, but happy that sure as shit are not… but more on that soon… Greg (David Wysocki) follows his dumb-ass friend Josh (Denis Mandel) into a warehouse for the local mortuary… an establishment that had the common sense to send Josh’s ass packing mind you… to get some payback in the form of some sweet-ass, pie-bald, steel belted radials that have gotten J-dawg a case of the hot n’ hornies. Only problem with all of this is, the owner of the mortuary, Hank Andrews (George), is some sort of fucked-up Satanic sorcerer-type and Josh was fired after witnessing one of his black rituals involving the women of the town… and he’s up to the same horror biz at the warehouse! Long story short, Josh goes missing (in truth the result of a violent, fatal attack by a
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
After Don Stober (Andrew Prine) spits out one of, if not the most laid back environmental preservation speech ever (doubtless the helicopter he is piloting is nowhere near as high as him), we are treated to a hell of a whimsical musical ovation for a film that concerns a giant bear eating the ever-loving fuck outta people, but I digress… Enter: Smilin’ Mike Kelly (Pieces’ own Christopher George) and the other shit eatin’ grin wearing forest rangers in his employ… but fret not my wicked weirdos, those smiles will soon be wiped away, because lovely ladies are turning up mauled into hamburger thanks to the claws of a fifteen-foot grizzly bear. As the body count rises (more on that in a bit) Kelly, Stober, and resident Naturalist Arthur Scott (Richard Jaeckel) step up to the plate and attempt to end the murderous rampage of that bitch of a berserk bear! They are going to need a bigger pic-a-nic basket… Ya
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Outdoors-man Steve Buckner (the ever-reliable Christopher George) treks into the mountains with a rando assortment of hikers comprised of TV actors, Georges wife Lynda (whom he also co-starred with in the absolutely sublime slasher, Pieces) and Leslie Neilson (eventually doing a pre-Airplane/Police Squad/Naked Gun heel turn… but more on that in a bit). As science wouldn’t have it, the animals on that there mountain are going blood fuckin’ simple thanks to toxins from the sun’s radiation leaking through a hole in the ozone layer (but only those at 5000 feet elevation are affected)… but first the group must wander around and make with the small talk for a sight. When the animals do begin their assault the group is left rather defenseless thanks to Steve’s bullshit rule about not carrying firearms into the woods… although to be fair, how would he guess that such a ludicrous series of events was about to go down? As much as a threat as
Continue reading →
More from Christopher George
MoviesReviews
That slap-happy duo of lovers Christopher George and Lynda Day George (Pieces, Grizzly) are lighting up the silver screen once again in 1983’s Mortuary, but happy that sure as shit are not… but more on that soon… Greg (David Wysocki) follows his dumb-ass friend Josh (Denis Mandel) into a warehouse for the local mortuary… an establishment that had the common sense to send Josh’s ass packing mind you… to get some payback in the form of some sweet-ass, pie-bald, steel belted radials that have gotten J-dawg a case of the hot n’ hornies. Only problem with all of this is, the owner of the mortuary, Hank Andrews (George), is some sort of fucked-up Satanic sorcerer-type and Josh was fired after witnessing one of his black rituals involving the women of the town… and he’s up to the same horror biz at the warehouse! Long story short, Josh goes missing (in truth the result of a violent, fatal attack by a
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
After Don Stober (Andrew Prine) spits out one of, if not the most laid back environmental preservation speech ever (doubtless the helicopter he is piloting is nowhere near as high as him), we are treated to a hell of a whimsical musical ovation for a film that concerns a giant bear eating the ever-loving fuck outta people, but I digress… Enter: Smilin’ Mike Kelly (Pieces’ own Christopher George) and the other shit eatin’ grin wearing forest rangers in his employ… but fret not my wicked weirdos, those smiles will soon be wiped away, because lovely ladies are turning up mauled into hamburger thanks to the claws of a fifteen-foot grizzly bear. As the body count rises (more on that in a bit) Kelly, Stober, and resident Naturalist Arthur Scott (Richard Jaeckel) step up to the plate and attempt to end the murderous rampage of that bitch of a berserk bear! They are going to need a bigger pic-a-nic basket… Ya
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Outdoors-man Steve Buckner (the ever-reliable Christopher George) treks into the mountains with a rando assortment of hikers comprised of TV actors, Georges wife Lynda (whom he also co-starred with in the absolutely sublime slasher, Pieces) and Leslie Neilson (eventually doing a pre-Airplane/Police Squad/Naked Gun heel turn… but more on that in a bit). As science wouldn’t have it, the animals on that there mountain are going blood fuckin’ simple thanks to toxins from the sun’s radiation leaking through a hole in the ozone layer (but only those at 5000 feet elevation are affected)… but first the group must wander around and make with the small talk for a sight. When the animals do begin their assault the group is left rather defenseless thanks to Steve’s bullshit rule about not carrying firearms into the woods… although to be fair, how would he guess that such a ludicrous series of events was about to go down? As much as a threat as
Continue reading →
