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Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Slaughterhouse-Five (1972)

Poor Billy Pilgrim (Michael Sacks), while just livin’ his life as a middle-aged optometrist, he keeps coming “unstuck” in time. One second he’s in the trenches of World War II, the next he’s on exhibit in a fancy zoo on the planet Tralfamadore, kicking it with sexy-ass Hollywood starlet Montana Wildhack (Valerie Perrine). That last one is pretty damn awesome, but unfortunately he must also cool his jets in a German POW camp in Dresden (the eponymous Slaughterhouse Five), or fight for his life after barely surviving a plane crash… all in any order the time stream feels is necessary. Will our hero find a happy end or just keep fast forwarding and rewinding his life’s events until he expires? Slaughterhouse-Five is one hell of a crazy ride cats n’ creeps! We get time travel, nazis, aliens, nudity… you know, the big ticket items, but things are never presented in a manner other than melancholy, introspective, and often blackly humorous.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 10, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray: Robocop (1987)

About a p.h. into the future, Detroit is in rough shape… the city has fallen into a cesspool of crime and corruption, and mega-corporation OCP has plans to build a fancy new city on the ashes of the old, once that pesky criminal element is removed… which they can guarantee is going to happen because they own the police, and are planing on introducing robots into the force. After their first attempt turns out to be a murder machine before it even hits he mean streets, the go on to plan two; Robocop a cyborg with the mind of a policeman and the body of a… well, a fucking robot, what else would it be? Thankfully for those unscrupulous devils at OCP, officer Alex Murphy (Peter Weller) is murdered by the vile Clarence Boddicker and his gang providing them with the perfect raw materials to create their “future of law enforcement”, and soon Robocop is making the city safer utilizing

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 9, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Jake Speed (1986)

Margaret (Karen Kopins) is feelin’ the ol’ pangs of guilt as she convinced her younger sister Maureen (Becca C. Ashley) to see the world… which resulted in her being abducted while in Paris by a white slavery ring. While some of the family makes Margie feel like a ten pound lump of shit in a two pound sack about the whole affair, her grandfather (Leon Ames) has an idea surely brought upon by a raging case of Alzheimer’s: get Jake Speed (Wayne Crawford) on the case right quick… which would be a great plan if Jake existed in the real world instead of in the pulp-adventure novels that bear his name. Well guess what? Fuckin’ Jake Speed does exist, and before you can say Remo Williams, our heroine meets the main man in a Paris bar along with Speed’s guy Friday Desmond Floyd (Dennis Christopher)… where Margaret learns the novels are based on their lives… and cases like her’s make

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 4, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Hitchhike to Hell (1983)

Mild-mannered dry-cleaning delivery man Howard (Robert Gribbin) lives with his mother, enjoys putting together model kits and drinking root beer… and has a propensity for raping (the female ones anyway) and killing hitchhikers that have runaway from home and hate their mommies… an admittedly niche demographic, but Howard is rather successful in his murder biz all the same. Why does Homicidal Howie commit these awful acts? Simple, his sister ran away from home and caused his mother static… seems solid enough to me! Anyway, who will attempt to stop this nightmare before the bodies pile-up further? Why none other than Russell Johnson (you know, The Professor from Gilligan’s Island) as small-town Police Captain J.W. Shaw. Will Howard escape justice or will his reign of terror continue on? Everything from the over-the-top acting of leading man Gribbin, to the ridiculously dramatic musical score (courtesy of Perry Daniels), to the cheesy dialog, swirls and bubbles in a witch’s cauldron to create pure

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 23, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Flowers in the Attic (1987)

After the death of the family patriarch, teens Chris (Jeb Stuart Adams) and Cathy (Kristy Swanson), along with their twin siblings Cory (Ben Ryan Ganger) and Carrie (Lindsay Parker) are shuffled off to their elderly (and totally loaded) grandparents by their mother Corrine (Victoria Tennant). Once there, Corrine’s mega-bitch of a Bible-thumpin’ mother Olivia (Louise Fletcher) demands the children be kept in a locked room so that her husband never know of their existence. Why is she so riled up? Well it seems that Corrine’s husband was her uncle, and those kiddos are straight up the byproduct of that ol’ family fav; incest! As Corrine suffers her mother’s punishments in order to fall back into the family good graces and inherit some serious coin; the kids explore the one place the have access to from their pseudo-prison; the attic… which they turn into a sanctuary of sorts. As the time passes, our young heroes see less and less of Mommy

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 20, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Apprentice to Murder (1988)

Way back in 1927, down Pennsylvania way; illiterate mill worker Billy (Chad Lowe) seeks some relief for his fucked up cheek by way of the services of folk magic healer John Reese (Donald Sutherland), who throws in a cure for Billy’s booze hound pappy as well. The two become a duo, with John teaching our hero to read… despite what Billy’s maybe/sorta girlfriend Alice (Mia Sara) thinks about John. Turns out her instincts were on the money as John is getting legal static about practicing medicine without a license, and being involved in the death of a young girl under his care. Well you can’t keep a shady cat down for long, and soon John is free and goading billy into joining him in a holy mission of spiritual warfare aimed at what he believes is causing on of those pestilences the kids are so into these days at a local farm. This brings dark times upon Billy indeed… As

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 9, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Ringu Collection (1998 – 2000)

1998’s Ringu is the fright flick phenom that started a J-horror wave that spread across continents, and today I’m going to be putting my putrid peepers on a whole mess of them preternatural pictures, so gather the fuck ’round! First up is the “original” Ringu (this is technically the third film adaptation of Kōji Suzuki’s 1991 novel), who’s plot goes a lil’ something like this: After a gaggle of teenage girls begin dying seemingly from extreme fright, investigative reporter Reiko Asakawa (Nanako Matsushima), an aunt of one of the victims, begins to believe the tales of a cursed video tape she has been researching may be involved. Discovering the girls rented a cabin before their demise, our heroine treks out there and actually finds the damn tape… which of course she watches, even though she knows the evil within will most likely come a-callin’ on her soon. And what an “evil” it is; namely a tortured ghost of a mutant

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 5, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Man of a Thousand Faces (1957)

Lon Chaney was one of the undisputed greats in our beloved horror biz for his legendary performances as Quasimodo in 1923’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and as the titular character in 1925’s The Phantom of the Opera. So integral a part of the industry was Chaney that in 1957 Universal made a biopic and that brings us to today’s revoltin’ review of Man of a Thousand Faces! Born to deaf/mute parents, ol’ Lon has a tough go of it… but, he doesn’t let it get him down as he goes on to be a top vaudeville performer with a knack for taking on multiple characters with ease. Along for the ride is his pregnant wife Cleva (Dorothy Malone) who upon discovering our hero’s parent’s condition completely loses her shit and becomes one of the most annoying individuals in the known universe (seriously, you’ll be begging Lon to leave her ass in the dust at every turn). Life at home

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 27, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Reviews: Hellraiser (1987) and Hellraiser II: Hellbound (1988)

Ahh the Hellraiser series; so iconic and flat out awesome (well at first anyway) it is that it needs no introduction, as I’m sure each and everyone of you creeps has parked your pasty asses in front of it at one time or another. But, just in case there is someone reading this that has no idea what I’m talking about; here’s the elevator pitch; there’s a puzzle box… kinda like a Rubik’s Cube that when solved unleashes emissaries from hell (that are waaay into S&M) who arrive to collect the soul of anyone stupid enough to play their game. So there’s that. Anyway; Hellraiser, I love it, you love it, Arrow has gone mega-ape shit and unleashed insane-o releases of the first two films in the series…and yeah; review time! Let’s take ‘em one by one and kick it off with the original recipe Hellraiser! Poor Kirsty Cotton (Ashley Laurence); all she wants to do is visit her Dad

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 21, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

I’m not even going to fuck around; An American Werewolf in London is one of the finest horror pictures ever made. Doubtless, no one reading these wicked words would need any convincing to agree… but for the one person out there that may be unfamiliar with this fright flick, I’m gonna kick of this revoltin’ review of Arrow Video’s new Blu-ray release of this beast of a film with a sinister synopsis (I mean I always do that but what-fucking-ever). Two American friends, let’s call them David and Jack… because that’s what their character’s names are… anyway these two dudes (played by David Naughton and Griffin Dunn respectively) are on one of those European backpacking trips that the kids of today are just so gosh darn fucking fond of. After getting the bums rush at the local watering hole, our heroes set off into the night, and get attacked by a savage werewolf (you can bet that nugget should be

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 17, 2019

More from Arrow Video

Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Slaughterhouse-Five (1972)

Poor Billy Pilgrim (Michael Sacks), while just livin’ his life as a middle-aged optometrist, he keeps coming “unstuck” in time. One second he’s in the trenches of World War II, the next he’s on exhibit in a fancy zoo on the planet Tralfamadore, kicking it with sexy-ass Hollywood starlet Montana Wildhack (Valerie Perrine). That last one is pretty damn awesome, but unfortunately he must also cool his jets in a German POW camp in Dresden (the eponymous Slaughterhouse Five), or fight for his life after barely surviving a plane crash… all in any order the time stream feels is necessary. Will our hero find a happy end or just keep fast forwarding and rewinding his life’s events until he expires? Slaughterhouse-Five is one hell of a crazy ride cats n’ creeps! We get time travel, nazis, aliens, nudity… you know, the big ticket items, but things are never presented in a manner other than melancholy, introspective, and often blackly humorous.

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 10, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray: Robocop (1987)

About a p.h. into the future, Detroit is in rough shape… the city has fallen into a cesspool of crime and corruption, and mega-corporation OCP has plans to build a fancy new city on the ashes of the old, once that pesky criminal element is removed… which they can guarantee is going to happen because they own the police, and are planing on introducing robots into the force. After their first attempt turns out to be a murder machine before it even hits he mean streets, the go on to plan two; Robocop a cyborg with the mind of a policeman and the body of a… well, a fucking robot, what else would it be? Thankfully for those unscrupulous devils at OCP, officer Alex Murphy (Peter Weller) is murdered by the vile Clarence Boddicker and his gang providing them with the perfect raw materials to create their “future of law enforcement”, and soon Robocop is making the city safer utilizing

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 9, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Jake Speed (1986)

Margaret (Karen Kopins) is feelin’ the ol’ pangs of guilt as she convinced her younger sister Maureen (Becca C. Ashley) to see the world… which resulted in her being abducted while in Paris by a white slavery ring. While some of the family makes Margie feel like a ten pound lump of shit in a two pound sack about the whole affair, her grandfather (Leon Ames) has an idea surely brought upon by a raging case of Alzheimer’s: get Jake Speed (Wayne Crawford) on the case right quick… which would be a great plan if Jake existed in the real world instead of in the pulp-adventure novels that bear his name. Well guess what? Fuckin’ Jake Speed does exist, and before you can say Remo Williams, our heroine meets the main man in a Paris bar along with Speed’s guy Friday Desmond Floyd (Dennis Christopher)… where Margaret learns the novels are based on their lives… and cases like her’s make

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Dec 4, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Hitchhike to Hell (1983)

Mild-mannered dry-cleaning delivery man Howard (Robert Gribbin) lives with his mother, enjoys putting together model kits and drinking root beer… and has a propensity for raping (the female ones anyway) and killing hitchhikers that have runaway from home and hate their mommies… an admittedly niche demographic, but Howard is rather successful in his murder biz all the same. Why does Homicidal Howie commit these awful acts? Simple, his sister ran away from home and caused his mother static… seems solid enough to me! Anyway, who will attempt to stop this nightmare before the bodies pile-up further? Why none other than Russell Johnson (you know, The Professor from Gilligan’s Island) as small-town Police Captain J.W. Shaw. Will Howard escape justice or will his reign of terror continue on? Everything from the over-the-top acting of leading man Gribbin, to the ridiculously dramatic musical score (courtesy of Perry Daniels), to the cheesy dialog, swirls and bubbles in a witch’s cauldron to create pure

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 23, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Flowers in the Attic (1987)

After the death of the family patriarch, teens Chris (Jeb Stuart Adams) and Cathy (Kristy Swanson), along with their twin siblings Cory (Ben Ryan Ganger) and Carrie (Lindsay Parker) are shuffled off to their elderly (and totally loaded) grandparents by their mother Corrine (Victoria Tennant). Once there, Corrine’s mega-bitch of a Bible-thumpin’ mother Olivia (Louise Fletcher) demands the children be kept in a locked room so that her husband never know of their existence. Why is she so riled up? Well it seems that Corrine’s husband was her uncle, and those kiddos are straight up the byproduct of that ol’ family fav; incest! As Corrine suffers her mother’s punishments in order to fall back into the family good graces and inherit some serious coin; the kids explore the one place the have access to from their pseudo-prison; the attic… which they turn into a sanctuary of sorts. As the time passes, our young heroes see less and less of Mommy

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 20, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Apprentice to Murder (1988)

Way back in 1927, down Pennsylvania way; illiterate mill worker Billy (Chad Lowe) seeks some relief for his fucked up cheek by way of the services of folk magic healer John Reese (Donald Sutherland), who throws in a cure for Billy’s booze hound pappy as well. The two become a duo, with John teaching our hero to read… despite what Billy’s maybe/sorta girlfriend Alice (Mia Sara) thinks about John. Turns out her instincts were on the money as John is getting legal static about practicing medicine without a license, and being involved in the death of a young girl under his care. Well you can’t keep a shady cat down for long, and soon John is free and goading billy into joining him in a holy mission of spiritual warfare aimed at what he believes is causing on of those pestilences the kids are so into these days at a local farm. This brings dark times upon Billy indeed… As

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 9, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Ringu Collection (1998 – 2000)

1998’s Ringu is the fright flick phenom that started a J-horror wave that spread across continents, and today I’m going to be putting my putrid peepers on a whole mess of them preternatural pictures, so gather the fuck ’round! First up is the “original” Ringu (this is technically the third film adaptation of Kōji Suzuki’s 1991 novel), who’s plot goes a lil’ something like this: After a gaggle of teenage girls begin dying seemingly from extreme fright, investigative reporter Reiko Asakawa (Nanako Matsushima), an aunt of one of the victims, begins to believe the tales of a cursed video tape she has been researching may be involved. Discovering the girls rented a cabin before their demise, our heroine treks out there and actually finds the damn tape… which of course she watches, even though she knows the evil within will most likely come a-callin’ on her soon. And what an “evil” it is; namely a tortured ghost of a mutant

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 5, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Man of a Thousand Faces (1957)

Lon Chaney was one of the undisputed greats in our beloved horror biz for his legendary performances as Quasimodo in 1923’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and as the titular character in 1925’s The Phantom of the Opera. So integral a part of the industry was Chaney that in 1957 Universal made a biopic and that brings us to today’s revoltin’ review of Man of a Thousand Faces! Born to deaf/mute parents, ol’ Lon has a tough go of it… but, he doesn’t let it get him down as he goes on to be a top vaudeville performer with a knack for taking on multiple characters with ease. Along for the ride is his pregnant wife Cleva (Dorothy Malone) who upon discovering our hero’s parent’s condition completely loses her shit and becomes one of the most annoying individuals in the known universe (seriously, you’ll be begging Lon to leave her ass in the dust at every turn). Life at home

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 27, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Reviews: Hellraiser (1987) and Hellraiser II: Hellbound (1988)

Ahh the Hellraiser series; so iconic and flat out awesome (well at first anyway) it is that it needs no introduction, as I’m sure each and everyone of you creeps has parked your pasty asses in front of it at one time or another. But, just in case there is someone reading this that has no idea what I’m talking about; here’s the elevator pitch; there’s a puzzle box… kinda like a Rubik’s Cube that when solved unleashes emissaries from hell (that are waaay into S&M) who arrive to collect the soul of anyone stupid enough to play their game. So there’s that. Anyway; Hellraiser, I love it, you love it, Arrow has gone mega-ape shit and unleashed insane-o releases of the first two films in the series…and yeah; review time! Let’s take ‘em one by one and kick it off with the original recipe Hellraiser! Poor Kirsty Cotton (Ashley Laurence); all she wants to do is visit her Dad

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 21, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

I’m not even going to fuck around; An American Werewolf in London is one of the finest horror pictures ever made. Doubtless, no one reading these wicked words would need any convincing to agree… but for the one person out there that may be unfamiliar with this fright flick, I’m gonna kick of this revoltin’ review of Arrow Video’s new Blu-ray release of this beast of a film with a sinister synopsis (I mean I always do that but what-fucking-ever). Two American friends, let’s call them David and Jack… because that’s what their character’s names are… anyway these two dudes (played by David Naughton and Griffin Dunn respectively) are on one of those European backpacking trips that the kids of today are just so gosh darn fucking fond of. After getting the bums rush at the local watering hole, our heroes set off into the night, and get attacked by a savage werewolf (you can bet that nugget should be

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 17, 2019
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